


Talk less

by Jamilton_and_Lams



Series: talk less, smile more, live happy [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr Being an Asshole, Abusive Relationships, Alex is a mess, And John, Angst, Anxiety, Betrayal, Character Death, Death, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gang Wars, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Human disaster gilbert du motier marquis de Lafayette, Kidnapping, LOTS OF STRONG LAUNGUAGE, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive, Pain, Philip is going to be alex's foster brother, Plot Twists, Secrets, Suicide Attempt, a mess, also cursing, also i apologize in advance, also they are salty af, and so are some of his other children, angelica is on a mission, badass female characters ftw, because i love them and he obvi won't end up with eliza, best friends with the schuylers, especially angelica, except george and martha, george and martha adopt alexander, google translate french, hopefully to return in july, i cant control my characters, i need a beta reader, i wrote the first 17 chapters over like 7 months and stupidly uploaded them all at once, if i butcher it please tell me, like 5 sub-plots, like chill guys, like seriously, lots and lots, marraige, on a semi-hiatus, oohh, or Bi, theodosia is dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-08-23 19:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton_and_Lams/pseuds/Jamilton_and_Lams
Summary: Alex is in an abusive relationship.Aaron burr is trying, yet the ghosts of the past hold him back.John is in love with his best friend.Lafayette is hiding a secret that could destroy them all.Some are barely holding it together.More are running from their past.Others hide in the shadows, waiting for a chance to strike.There's a war coming.And there is no guarantee all will survive.





	1. how often does your fake ex- girlfriend get engaged to the woman she loves?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an introduction to a messed up relationship ft; Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr  
> And a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, welcome to my first fic - be prepared for inconsistent updates! <3

Alex was having a bad day.

He'd woken up late, nearly missed his train, the underground had been packed, he'd been  sandwiched between two strangers and he'd forgotten his lunch. His wrist was bruised and  he was sleep deprived. And he had approximately 20 minutes to think of an excuse

Of course Hercules had warned against Alex having more than two shots; " You, being the  lightweight you are, will be _dead_ tomorrow. And we'll have to deal with the 'Not able to function Alex', the 'lets  run Starbucks out of business with a lethal coffee order Alex'." (And yet approximately 97 minutes later it was Lafayette who was trying to convince his boyfriend that 'No, it's not a good idea to play strip poker at your friends engagement party'. Alex had to admire Laf's restraint in that case. Because Laf obviously very much enjoyed the idea of strip poker from the way his eyes had lit up before realizing his boyfriend obviously was way too drunk, before bringing him off to the bathroom to sober up.

But it had been a special occasion - its not everyday your fake ex-girlfriend gets engaged to  the love of her life.

When Alex had first met Eliza he had been a 17 year old in college. It had gotten him a lot  of unwanted attention. It was unique enough that he had accepted at 17 but on top of that  there was the fact he was trying to graduate as soon as possible. On his first day he had  spoken to multiple people asking about the quickest route to graduate - not out of laziness  but out of want. The sheer want in his eyes to do something. To change the world. Eliza had  appeared behind him one day in his English lecture. It had been about halfway through his  first month at Princeton College and he had already gotten a name for himself.

As a poet. A writer. A debater. A genius.

He had only seen Eliza around a few times. She was kind and had helped him find his way  around the grounds his first week there. She normally set near to the back with her friends  and her sisters Angelica and Peggy, laughing and giggling as Angelica imitated the lecturer,  yet this day… this day she had sat beside him quietly. Alex had more or less ignored her  until after the lecture, when he had turned to ask her if she had wanted to talk to him only to  see her staring longingly towards a girl who sat in the corner of the hall beside a boy who  had his arm thrown her shoulders.

Alex had asked why she stared instead of asking her out. And Eliza had blushed and  started stuttering and finally just as Alex's patience had worn thin she admitted she wanted  him to help her win this girl over. (“you have such a way with words Alex…”)

Then she dropped the bombshell that she had may or may not had accidentally mentioned to  her parents that she was dating someone. ("Accidentally... how do you  _accidentally_ tell someone your dating someone?")

Confused Alex had stared at her. Then the other shoe dropped and he had started laughing.  Alex told her that it was the stupidest idea he had ever heard. Yet he had agreed nevertheless. Eliza was scarily persuasive. (She had just looked so helpless, so in love, that he couldn’t find it in him to refuse…)

A year later she had been trying to convince him to be the 'groom of honor' and surprisingly  enough Alex declined but had instead opted to make up another round of shots.

Then John appeared on the mock stage where Lafayette had a karaoke set up. Alex  couldn't help but laugh at his best friends antics as he started to sing along to whatever  song had been chosen. Some love song and as it started Alex was laughing because as good as a singer John was, there was no way especially when drunk that he could hit the notes. John went through the group, serenading them all and sending Alex the odd wink. 

Alex laughed along with his friends as the night went on. Yet as the hours ticked past  something was nagging at the back of his head. He couldn't remember what it was, the  liquor had made is brain foggy and it wasn't until Angelica stopped singing mid song to greet  someone that Alex remembered what it was.

"Aaron Burr, so nice of you to finally join us!"

Shit. Shit shit shit. He'd forgotten that they'd had plans. He'd and now there would be hell to pay.

He could feel his brain speed up and the anxiety amplified by however many shots he'd had  \- 6 he suddenly remembered. There had been six- John, Peggy, Eliza, Angelica, Laff and  Hercules had bought a round each. And of course the one he'd just bought - he quickly downed it (7 his brain noted). Less than a minute later another was placed in front of him and he followed the hand, his eyes trailing up the body until he met those of his boyfriend with a forced smile.

"Hey Aaron."

He was greeted with a kiss and a side hug that was just a little to tight for comfort. "Sorry i'm  late Babe! Work was hell"

Suddenly they were surrounded by Alex's friends, all of them greeting Aaron like he was still  part of their group, like it was normal for him to show up to one of their parties. The invite  had been for both of them but over the course of their relationship there had been  approximately two other times he had accepted. The teasing and questions began and Aarons hand moved to Alex's shoulder. Two things he didn't like.  Surrounded by people he didn't people like.  The hand on his shoulder tightened and Alex knew what he had to do.

"Well Hec! It looks like you were right." Alex took a step forward and swayed - nearly falling over a chair "l should have stopped at two!"

Eliza detangled herself from her fiancée and both made their way over.

"I'll see you tomorrow Alex?"

"Of course Eliza!" He kissed her cheek and looked over at the girl beside her.

"Maria now that you’re marrying my ex I feel that it is my duty to warn you. There are a few  things you have the right to know - " Alex was cut off by Eliza hitting him on the head with  pillow.

"Leave Alexander! Before you scare her off on me."

Laughing and stumbling Alex went around wishing his friends a good night before teasingly  blowing a kiss at the couple.  Aaron waited near the door and as Alex caught he look in his eye he understood. He was  taking too long. He stumbled towards his boyfriend laughing obnoxiously loud.

The door closed and the silence was immediate. Eliza Schuyler really knew how to throw a  party, the apartment was soundproofed and the liquor never stopped.

The cold air hit like a punch. Alex stopped stumbling, straightened up and the walk to their apartment was  quiet.

********************************************************************************

"I waited three hours for you Alex. Three! We agreed that Thursday night was date night!"  Alex started gnawing on his lip. It was a bad habit and he could feel the barely healed scars still lining them

"I'm so sorry Aaron, it was just, Eliza finally proposed-"

"I gathered so much when i saw the size of the gem on Maria's finger." Okay so he had

been right. Aaron was pissed as hell. Alex hadn't meant to abandon him, he just forgot -  surely Aaron would forgive him...

"Aaron it was a spur of the moment event-"

"And you didn't think to inform me?"

"You were in the office! Last time i called your mobile when there you were got pissed as-"

"Excuse me?" Aaron Grabbed him by the wrist and threw him on the bed

"I'm sorry Aaron, its just -" but Aaron wasn't listening anymore.

"Lets see how you like waiting around for three hours you _**B** **astard**_ " Alex knew what he  meant with that word. It was a jab at how his parents hadn't been married, how even if his  father had been a Laird he had been entitled to nothing. It was then Aaron took advantage  of his boyfriends turmoil and grabbed the handcuffs in the locker and as quick as lightning  had Alex connected to the bed frame.

"Aaron what the fu-"

"Maybe next time try calling to see my opinion on something before assuming"

"You get pissed whatever i do Aaron."

Alex finally lost it. He had been having a good time and it had come back to bite him on the  ass. He was slightly drunk, tired and he could feel the need to write. To let all the words out  he knew he shouldn't say. But he was tired and pissed and chained to the goddamn bed like  an animal….

"Make up your goddamn mind! Your so fucking **_indecisive_** " Alex yelled. Aaron froze.

Alex's moment of anger disappeared and in its place - fear. That one stupid word. The word  that haunted burr through his youth. The word that got his fiancee killed... Of course that  was why he was so pissed...

"I'm sorry Aaron... That was too far... I just remembered..."

"You didn't remember shit Alex - you never fucking met her. They died before you showed up here! So you can go fuck yourself - I'm staying at James's tonight."

It was only when the front door slammed Alex realized Aaron had taken the key with him. 

And Alex was left alone with his own thoughts and the ghosts of Aaron's first love.

Theodosia and their daughter. Alex lay back and tried to close his eyes. It would be a long  night


	2. Dear Theodosia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a tiny insight into the mess that is Aaron Burr  
> a little bit of fluff and a bit more angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chapter - more of an interlude if im being honest...... but lets keep those for later >:)

When Alex had woken up that night it was to the sound of someone crying. Aaron.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Alex"

He was cradling Alex's wrist. It was red raw - from about 45 minutes of Alex trying break the bed frame, to trying to find something he could use to jimmy the lock. He had then closed his eyes and tried to think through the 100's of books he had consumed. It was hard to believe none had ever explained how to escape a pair of handcuffs.

2 hours after Aaron had left, Alex had given up and tried to get comfortable.

He had glanced at the locked case in their bedroom had turned away from it as much as he could. He hated that case. The lettering on the side -  "Theodosia Burr" - his daughter. All of the stuff he never gave her was kept in there locked up safe. 

********************************************************************

Alex only knew this because he had once stumbled into their bedroom only to see Aaron on the floor asleep clutching a picture frame to his chest. It was Aaron- happier then Alex had ever seen him, his smile softer, his eyes gentler - and with him a woman Alex didn't recognize. It was only when Aaron shifted that Alex could see the baby girl he was holding. The child, about three months old stared wide eyed at the camera. Big brown eyes... Alex had stepped back falling against the door and waking his boyfriend.

"Alex? Are you coming to bed lov-"

"You have a daughter? Is that your wife? girlfriend? Are you cheating on me? On her? Oh my god! How could i have been so stupid to ever think that you-"

He had been about to go off on a tangent when he saw Aaron pick up the picture from where he had dropped it in his sleep and place it carefully on top of a pile of clothes in a chest.

"Its a no to all of your questions Alexander. I'm not cheating on you - and she's not" his voice broke "she's not my wife. And Theo... My little Theodosia...."

And Aarons had wept. Heartbroken sobs poured from him and Alex quickly came to a few possible solutions. He went for the most likely one.

"Are they dead?"

"Y-y-yes and its all- its all my fault, I didn't choose... If i hadn't been so fucking indecisive about the date- so she picked a different one... A nice one... And on the day... the car... The car stalled on Brooklyn Bridge- and this truck- they didn't see it coming... And I… I was standing at the altar like a fucking  _ moron  _ while they… while they drowned" 

Alex had crawled onto the bed and pulled Aaron down beside him. He had put Aaron’s head on his lap and stroked his his hair.He coaxed a few details out before Aaron stopped talking. Thinking he had fallen asleep Alex reached over and switched off the lamp. Alex fell asleep only to be woken by Aaron humming under his breath.

“Aaron?” he questioned sleepily. “What’s that tune?” To his surprise Aaron told him. Told him about Theodosia - about the lullaby he had wrote - he had written it after she was born and how he had sung it every night to Theodosia - and about how he would never sing it again.

*********************************************************************

Looking at him now Alex could see another major breakdown was imminent.  Aaron needed to be held. So he moved over and Aaron hesitantly sat beside him.

Alex looked at the date flashing on the clock - and suddenly everything clicked. Why he had been so adamant about having date night tonight, why he was pissed about Alex celebrating, and why he had being overly emotional.

"Aaron I'm sorry. I know what today means for you and I should have remembered."

Alex pulled his boyfriend on top of him and then rolled him over till he was straddling him. He then started kissing  away Aarons tears.

"I'm sorry" Aaron whispered again.

If he was being honest with himself Alex wasn’t sure who he was apologising to. Wasn’t even sure if Aaron himself knew. "It’s not your fault Aaron - you can't keep blaming yourself - its been 3 years..."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, just distract me"

And so reaching up to pull off his top Alex, at 5am had done just that.

Only to wake up at 8 and barely catch the train.

***ping***

Alex glanced at his phone. The text read two words but it made him smile:

**From: Burrfriend**

Monday 8:32 Thank you.

 

**To: Burrfriend**

Monday 8:33: Anytime love, anytime x


	3. Dead Man Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How his boyfriends mind hadn’t even been on him while he had been pounding into him. He had been imagining being with Her. The ghost of the past Alex would never be free of. The ghost he would always be compared to."

John was worried for Alex. Standing across from him he watched as Alex added a seventh shot of espresso into his coffee. Normally Alex had three shots. Maybe four if he had been up all night studying for an exam. He didn’t mind, having been working at his family's coffee house for years John would go as far to call himself an expert coffee maker, but Alex…

As a barista he knew how his most frequent customer liked his coffee, but that morning Alex had just wandered into the store, and walked behind the counter. Strictly speaking he wasn’t allowed to be behind the counter but  as a best friend he was allowed certain privileges with the Laurens’. He had tried to convince him to have a maximum of 4 - double what anyone else would ever order.

“Alex… you have to know that’s not healthy - “

“John i’m not in the mood for self righteous bullshit this morning i’m tired and i had a shit night-” he cut himself off suddenly and John frowned as he tried to remember the details from the night before.

“What do you mean? Eliza’s party wasn’t that bad... from what I remember” He frowned. “Okay if i’m being honest, i don’t remember a lot after Laf’s pole dancing but-”

Alex laughed quietly and gave him a small smile and John let out a silent sigh of relief - he knew what Alex’s fake smiles looked like and he knew what his laughs sounded like. This wasn’t one of those so maybe Alex was exaggerating?

He probably just got into a passionate debate with Burr over what movie to watch. It had happened before - himself, Laff and herc had gone to surprise Alex for his birthday last month. They had brought over all 8 harry potter movies - Alex loved critiquing them and comparing them to the books- but a small comment about how snape had deserved the redemption arc…. It wasn’t a sight John would soon forget. Especially because it had resulted in Alex leaving with the three of them to gets drinks and then bunking with them again - just the four of them in their bachelor pad - no Aarron - or so john had thought until he was told by a very excited Alex that his boyfriend had asked him to move in with him.

John hadn’t even known Alex was dating anyone - but that was Alex, he could learn 20 page debates off by heart and he might write more than anyone else John had ever met before but it was the little things Alex often forgot.

Like how 8 shots of espresso was too much for a body of his size to handle. Because he knew (thanks to Alex's dangerous addictions) that 14 could cause fatalities and Alex was small for his age so...

“Thats it im cutting you off”

John quickly snached Alexs Coffee and placed it on the bar. “Crazy coffee addict” John teased giving him a pat on the head. - effectively distracting him. 

“Don’t do that John- you know i’m conscious about my height.”

“What height?”

“Hilarious” Alex stuck his tounge out at him and john flipped him off in response laughing.

“Take your death drink and leave Hamilton, I’m sure Adam’s isn’t above failing you for missing a class.”

Alex glances at his phone, swears drains his drink in approximately 45 seconds and is gone.

John smiles to himself. Alex was certainly unique. And his face fell as he realized he never did ask what had been bothering his friend. 

*********************************************************************************************

Alex sped along the sidewalk towards his class. It bothered him sometimes how well John knew him - he had been practicing faking a small smile and it looked like he had finally nailed it. He wasn’t a good actor by any means. He had been distracted all day - he felt used and didn’t know how to come to terms with it. 

The only reason he had sex with Aaron last night was for a distraction. To distract him from the fact that on the day he was meant to marry the love of his life, she and their daughter had been killed. 

And no-matter how hard he tried to ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen he knew he had Aaron whisper “Theo” as he came. 

How his boyfriends mind hadn’t even been on him while he had been pounding into him. He had been imagining being with Her. The ghost of the past Alex would never be free of. The ghost he would always be compared to… 

He had seen the cogs turning in John’s head. Wondering what had been bothering him. He stopped and rubbed his eyes. Why wasn’t the coffee doing its dam job? Alex felt like a dead man walking. He knew he should talk to Aaron but… 

Alex didn’t want to hurt him. He had been through so much in such a small time. Didn’t Aaron deserve a bit of stability? A boyfriend who would help him? Someone Aaron could talk to? 

But did it have to be him? 

Alex opened his eyes and started walking again. By the time he got to the lecture hall Angelica was dragging him into a seat. 

“Where the hell were you? You said you’d proofread this essay for me! I skipped coffee for this meeting! And Eliza and Peggy said you missed our breakfast meeting as well so where the hell were you?.”

Alex’s stomach growled and his thoughts started to drift to thoughts of food.

He’d completely forgotten to have breakfast. He had meant to grab a donut from the local Krispy Kremes but then the lack of sleep had hit and he’d found himself in front of the cafe owned by John’s sister. 

Mary bless her had given him a year of free coffee in thanks for helping her get out of a messy lawsuit. It could have closed the store and cost her thousands to go to court. But Alex who had just been drinking his coffee and writing had pointed out the loophole like it was the easiest thing in the world. 

And thank god for it because his wallet didn’t go deep enough to afford the amount of caffeine he needed to survive and he didn’t want to be depending on the Washingtons, especially after everything they had done for him, raising him as one of their own with Jacky and Patsy and the rest of strays they tended to pick up. (God he missed them)

No. He shook himself out of his thoughts as Angelica stared at him. 

“Im sorry what?”

She rolled her eyes and handed him a  Krispy Kreme bag. Alex snatched it out of her hands to find three donuts inside.

“Thank you Angie” 

“It’s no bother - i just had to grab them before Peggy managed to scoff them all”

It was as Alex had placed the first donut into his mouth that Professor Adams decided to waddle in. 

“Mr. Hamilton please do not eat in my lectures but rather in your own time”

Alex knew he shouldn’t but his nerves were already on edge and this Asshole was late to his own lecture - which was on ‘debating in the courtroom’ so Alex took full advantage of the fact he knew he could win, stood up and replied.

“Sir I am eating in my own time - there is no lecture happening at present- “

Angelica smiled to herself and leaned back as she watched him passionately state his views and beliefs and as the professors’ face got a brighter and brighter shade of red she was left to wonder why? Why out of all the courses open to Adam’s did he insist on Law? And out of all the topics: Debate? Because he sure as hell wasn’t any good at it.  Not that he got a chance to speak with Alex spewing 300 words a minute.

5 minutes later Alex was sitting down and leaning across Angelica he reached for another donut. He had finished all three and Adams was still fumbling around with his notes and was still trying to start up the projector as to officially begin the lecture. 

Angelica glanced at Alex. Normally he would take this as a opportunity to take a jab at Adams, or at least start a friendly debate with someone. But as Angelica watched from the corner of her eye she could see him retreating into himself. He was so much quieter than usual.

And if she was being honest?

It scared her.


	4. i will never be Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelica loosing herself in the past.

“It was glorious Peggy- absolutely amazing, he was so flustered he could hardly give the stupid lecture. And then Alex stands up and goes ‘Are you sure you don’t want to get someone more competent to give the lecture- _Sir_ ’ and then started on this rant about why he was wasting not only his own time but everyone in the room. I honestly thought Arnolds was going to pass out - I have never seem someone resemble a tomato so much in my life…”

“You still telling this story Angie?” Alex sat down beside her and reached over to grab one of the coffees sitting in the tray, double checking it was his order so he didn’t end up with one of Lafayette’s milky lattes or worse - tea.

“I will never stop telling it - it was one of the best days of my life, i honestly thought he’d drop there”

Alex frowned at her. “Really? I don’t think I was that hard on him. At least until he…” He trailed off.

Angelica pulled her friend into a small hug. Alex tensed and Angelica found that she was worried again. He had been much jumpier lately - anytime anyone appeared behind him out of nowhere -  and the fact that a professor was verbally abusing him didn’t help. Some people might think Alex had overreacted but anyone who knew him, knew how touchy he was over the word ‘Bastard’. She wasn’t aware of how bad his life had been before he docked in America. He had only told them the basics over the years.

She still remembered how she still met Alex. She had been walking through downtown when this short guy  who was way to energetic for that hour. He had been arguing with this guy about something - she had been too far away to hear the details, it was then she saw Lafayette near holding back Aaron Burr and then saw John and Hercules encouraging whatever it was Alex was saying. His opponent (who was some guy from her Law class's she faintly recognized as Seabury, also known as Adams nephew) was slowly becoming more and more flustered and when it was obvious that Alex was winning whatever debate or argument they were having.

"Yaas Alex" She heard John scream and she smiled to herself - then she could see Laf and Hercules start chanting. "HAM-IL-TON. HAM-IL-TON" she couldn't help but laugh quietly. Obviously this 'Alexander Hamilton' had made quite the impression on Lafayette and Co.

Then, she had heard Seabury call out one last insult.

“Hamilton? Ohi've heard about you. You're the bastard immigrant the Washington's took pity on and picked up from -”

Next thing she knew she running to help the boys stop a massacre.

Alex had told them later it had been a mix of what he had said before Angelica had shown up - but most importantly the ‘bastard’ part. He'd had grown up with the whispers of it on the island and he word had haunted him throughout his childhood.

She had looked at her watch and decided that she wasn’t going to make the lecture on time so she might as well stick around with the group for a while longer.

“Oh my! Mon amour, Heracles, is that Angelica Schuyler I see before me? I think i may faint- why would such a person of such high etiquette be hanging around with us lowly peasants? Oh Herc! Hold me! I think I may faint” Falling against his boyfriend Herc had to dive to catch him.

“Jesus christ Laf! Give some warning”

Angelica couldn’t stop laughing. She had grown up friends with Lafayette, he had been more or less brought under their protection, the son of her mother’s late friend. Somehow along those days of finding themselves, of accepting their sexualities her father had come to the conclusion they were dating and had informed him that he would never be good enough for any of his daughters, before Laf had calmly informed him he had no interest in anyone’s daughters and that he should be more worried about his sons. Thank god he had stopped after adding that it was unlikely she would have been interested in him anyway.

Since he moved out of the Schuyler family home, if she didn’t see Lafayette for a least week he resorted to pretending he didn’t know her and the joke got old after the 10th time.. He was a little brother to her. She reached into her bag, pulled out her bag of donuts and wordlessly handed one out to him.

Lafayette was up immediately, donuts in hand and arms around Angelica. “It has been too long mon ami”

The small man had then stepped forward and introduced himself. “Alexander Hamilton, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Angelica Schuyler” The intelligence in his eyes made her momentarily question if was indeed gay, because dayum….

Suddenly his arm was grabbed and Alexander was spun around until he was facing... Burr? Why the hell was Burr here? She groaned. Of all the fucking people in the whole blasted city of New York.

“Do you have any idea how stupid of an idea that was Alex? What if someone else had come along? You can’t just attack someone if you don’t agree with their beliefs.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not why he -” Burr cut off John with a glare. And she scoffed. Still an asshole then- good to know.

Burr turned his glare to her. She had never been a big fan of his. They had been in the same year in high school, competed for student president (she had won), worked for valedictorian (she had also won) and so weren’t exactly friendly. She had overshadowed him again and again throughout their schooling. The only reason she had never let herself loose to tell him what she really thought of him was the fact her best friend had been dating him.

She had been against it. She had heard a rumor about how Aaron had hit his ex. She had tried to warn Theodosia but she had laughed it off.. “Don’t be silly Angie! He is a gentleman.”

Then the week after graduation, the start of summer, May 12th,  before a year free of work - a year her and her best friends were going to travel Europe -  she had been woken up just after dawn to her phone blaring. Theo was crying. Her first thoughts were that the rumors were right. Aaron had hit her and Angelica was going to murder him.

“Slow down Theo, what’s wrong - what happened?”

“I'm pregnant”

Angelica remembered freezing and feeling a little bit of her heart crack behind the shields she had built. “Theo! Your only 18 - what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know!! I want to keep it, but i can’t do it by myself! What of Aaron doesn’t want it? What if my parents try to make me….. What is they kick me out?”

“You can always stay here with me and the girls - you will never be alone Theo.”

Three days later she had been engaged and living in Aarons apartment.

The trip was cancelled. Angelica and Eliza  got part-time jobs at the Laurens’ cafe.

February 13th she was the first in hospital. She was going to become a godmother. Two hours later the most adorable child she had ever seen was lying asleep. Theodosia jr.

Summer came and Angelica was wrapped in babysitting and wedding preparations for her best friend.

Maid of honor.

Write a speech.

Then the day of.

A beautiful day.  A November morning.

She remembered praying that something would happen - the priest to be sick - a candle to fall- a fire to spread, for something to catch, anything to stop Theo from making this mistake. Angelica knew it was a mistake. How could someone as kind as Theo love Burr?

Why should she marry Burr when Angelica had loved her longer?

Then the call. She didn’t remember much of that day - only what Lafayette had told her later.

How her face had drained of all its colour. How he had barely got to her before she dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Hercules had picked up the phone. It was some Police officer that Angelica was a friend of - Hercules got him to repeat the news.

The accident.

The spinning out of control.

Off the side of the bridge.

How Theo had died holding onto her daughter.

The driver it seemed had escaped but no one could find him.

John and Lafayette were with Angelica so it was up to Hercules to pass the information to Aaron.

Hercules started the long walk up the aisle and Aaron had smiled to see his best man.

“Is she here? Wheres little Theo?”

“I’m so sorry Aaron”

Confusion. Fear. Denial.

“That’s not funny Herc. where is she? Where is my wife?”

Then Aaron’s phone rang.

And everything went to shit.

***************************************************************************************************

Looking at Alex now she started to feel the old fears creep back in.

What exactly happened under that apartment roof?

What was Burr playing at because there was no way he could have recovered in 2 years. A fiancee and a child.

Angelica hadn't had either. she'd had a best friend she was in love with and a godchild who hadn't lived long enough to see Christmas. She still woke up most nights with nightmares. All she could see was her friends face closed, hair floating above her, holding her child as tight as she can. Then her eyes open and there she is, staring at Angelica with pale eyes. _“You could have stopped this”_ she seems to taunt. _“If you had opened your mouth you could have convinced me stay with you”_

She sometimes still woke up from these nightmares crying. She had long since learned to quiet her sobs.

And here he was dating Alex?  The mere thought of him harming the energetic overly boisterous young man beside her sent Angelica into a rage she hadn't felt in a long time.

Something didn’t add up. She wasn’t going to let this drop till she found out every one of Burrs’ dirty little secrets.

Until she was satisfied with what she found she would not stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Arnolds mentioned is (Major General) Benedict Arnold - who tried to betray the Hudson Valley fortress of West Point to the British during the Revolution. (Basically he was one of washingtons most trusted but had been a traitor and exchanging information with the british)


	5. do you have a death wish?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spooky subplot and Alex is on a quest for quiet. and coffee. lots and lots of really strong coffee.
> 
> also know as: Alex tries to avoid Aaron and sweet talking his best friends sister into giving him the coffee he needs

It was a quiet evening as a hooded figure stepped in front of the building. It was secluded, not exactly hard to find but difficult to enter unobserved. They had passed at least 5 cctv cameras on the walk up the drive. They wouldn’t be too hard to avoid, the trees giving plenty of cover. 

The land was owned by one of the most dangerous individuals in Lower Manhattan. Walking cautiously towards the door they kept an eye out for any sign that they were being followed. It wouldn’t be too big of a stretch they reasoned, with this much stuff around they honestly didn’t expect them not to at least  _ try  _ something. But then again if this deal went south all because they had seen something that caught their eye…. Better not. They shivered thinking of the mess they had to clean last time someone had antagonized the boss too much. Pushed just that bit too far… all that blood….

Opening the door the figure quickly stepped inside. They did a quick sweep of the room counting all possible exits in case something happened. Which was entirely possible considering who they were meant to meet. There were - as far as they could see - about 3 door leading off the entrance hall. There were windows but they didn’t look like they would open - some fancy stained glass pieces. There was the winding double staircase that took up the center of the room - leading up at least another two floors. Thinking of the blue prints they had stolen they knew was a secret door, concealed behind the left staircase…

“Welcome to my humble abode” Glancing up they could see the person they were to meet standing on the top floor looking down on them. At a first glance they didn’t look like much… surely this couldn’t be the right person. But then they looked closer. At least three body gaurds. The clothes looked like they were bullet proof and the way their eyes twinkled… this person wasn’t unused to violence.

“Would you like to come up and we can have this conversation in a more comfortable seating?”

“Sounds like a plan” And pushing down their hood to reveal their face they glanced up to give their host a wicked grin, and pushing a lock of hair behind their ear they started their assent. 

*************************************************************************************************

Alex knew his friends were worried about him. Thankfully he managed to keep the bruising on his wrist covered. He knew his friends didn’t really get on with Aaron, (and so didn’t 100% approve of their relationship) he’d asked Aaron about it once only to be told it was ‘none of his fucking business who he did and didn’t hang out with’.

He presumed it had something to do with Theodosia. He had seen the photo in Hercules room before. He had been searching for a pen when he had seen a framed photo that had stopped him in his tracks. It was Aaron and Hercules smiling at the camera, arms around each others shoulders. Hercules was holding Lafayette's hand. And then there was John who was hanging off Lafayette's back.  All of them were laughing. They looked much younger. It looked like it had been taken at their graduation.

He had thought about questioning Aaron again but had decided to leave it. It was none of his business anyway.

Now walking down the street towards Aarons apartment he couldn’t help but wish they could all get along. Alex was known to come across as a bit… well abrasive he supposed. It was one thing that tended to piss people off. It was like he no filter, his mouth ran at a speed twice that of his thought process.  When he and Aaron had started dating he’d given him some advice: “Talk less, smile more.” 

He suppose it made sense - if he didn’t interrupt people so quickly and if he focused more on what people said he’d find out more, the whole story maybe. It was hard though. Growing up on Nevis he use to have to shout to get his voice heard. Being a bastard was bad enough. People thought less of him and his mother.

His mother.  He tried not to think of her. Because if he thought of her the memories came rushing back. Her death. His cousins suicide. The storm. Lying half dead praying to whatever Gods existed to end him.

But after was good. The Washingtons - George in particular- had come out to try to try and help the community rebuild. He had literally fallen over the young teenager, who was too thin to be healthy, and had instantly scooped him up and brought him to the makeshift hospital where he had learned of Alex’s past. 

He didn’t remember much of the next few months. He had gone temporarily mute for about three months after the Hur- the Storm. The storm he reminded himself. Anything else would send him into a panic attack.

He quickly grabbed his phone and stuffed his earphones in turning on a random song way too loud in a effort to block out his thoughts. Humming along he stopped at his favourite coffee house. “The Room”. He knows he should head back to the apartment. That aaron will want to talk to him.

He cringed thinking of the mess he’d made in Adam’s class. There was no doubt that Aaron had already heard, him being a friend of Seabury (the little shit.) And then the way he’d blown up at Professor Arnolds as well...

He could already hear the lecture he was going to receive. ‘Try to talk less Alex. you’ll get yourself into trouble one day’. He was worse than the Washingtons.

Deciding to fuck it all to hell and that he didn’t a fucking lecture from his godam boyfriend, Alex takes one earphone out and pushes the door open. The bell chimes and a curly head pops up from over the counter.

“You look like shit man”  

“John I -”

“Nope”

“Just -”

“There were eight shots of espresso in that thing this morning Alex. Eight! And you downed it like it was nothing!You are getting no more coffee today. I cut you off this morning and i’ll stand by that decision. Do you have a death wish?”

Alex’s head perked up. “Are you selling Death Wish John?” 

John paled slightly but Alex’s eager eyes noticed. “No - No way Alex not happening. Not after last time- there is no way in hell I am letting you near that stuff! Ever again!”

Alex knowing he was going to get nowhere with his best friend looked around for something - anything - he could use to distract him when out of the corner of his eyes he say movement.

“Martha! _mon ange comment vas-tu?”_ (my angel how are you?)

She spun around so fast she nearly dropped the stack of plates she was holding.

“My God - is that Alexander Hamilton i see before me? John - take these out the back and clean them” 

John narrowed his eyes at Alex, guessing what he what he planning. “Martha whatever you do, don’t-”

“John Laurens, this is my cafe. If you don’t get working i’ll cut your pay!” she snapped. “Now get!” 

Alex stuck his tongue out at his best friend and smiled when martha turned around to give him a hug.

“Now my dear, what can i get you?” 

“Well I just heard that you some of the really good stuff in Martha darling” 

“Hmm really good you say Alex dear? If you were anyone else i’d think you were talking about the weed John thinks nobody knows is hidden in the back cupboard”

A plate dropped from inside the kitchen smashing on the floor. This was followed by an over exaggerated cry of “nooo”. Knowing martha it had been mixed with a bucket of soil and or soaked in oil the moment she found it.

He smiled. “No not here for Johns weed this time.”

Her eyes narrowed and he quickly corrected himself. “At all. Never did it never will.” he gave her a wide grin as she inspected his eyes carefully trying to gauge if he was lying.

“Well either your lying skills have improved or your telling the truth. Anyway I saved you a bag of this stuff” she said kneeling to pull a bag from below the counter.

Alex nearly cried. It was so beautiful.  _ “Merci mon cher”  _ (thank you my dear)

“Okay so that’s $25 but because I know you’ll be back next week, and the fact your such an adorably hyper kid, I’ll give it to you for 20$”  

Alex paid and was halfway out the door when John reappeared panting. “Please tell me you didn’t -” he trailed off seeing the bag in Alex’s hand and proceeded to jump over the counter and make a run for Alex. 

Letting out a yelp he yelled his goodbyes over his shoulder. And was gone before John made it to the door. He got one foot out of the door only for him to be dragged back in by Martha.

********************************************************************************************

Unlocking the door softly Alex enters the apartment. He quickly sidesteps the stack of books he left by the door and upon entering the kitchen and dropping his bag on a chair he opens the bag of coffee, spooning a few generous spoonfuls into a mug. He switches on the kettle and takes a deep breath letting the aroma of the coffee fill his lungs. He knows he’ll have to deal with John tomorrow and probably Lafayette as well- both who try at least monthly to lower his caffeine intake.

As he Approaches the fridge to grab a sandwich  he notices a sticky note stuck to the door.

_ “Gone to The revolution for a few drinks with C.Lee and J.Monroe. Don’t bother to wait up.” _

The kettle clicks and as he pours the water he’s thankful for the silence. No better way to have your evening cup of coffee. 

Glancing at the clock, Alex see’s it's only 8pm. He decides to get a start on his History paper. It seems like only minutes have passed when a knock is heard at the apartment door. He glances at the clock to see its past 2am. He has a good start on the first draft of his essay so he supposes it will be enough for tonight. 

The banging gets louder. 

“Hamilton open this fucking door right now or I swear to god..”

Alex sighs and opens the door to a site he’s not actually shocked to see anymore. Aaron drunk leaning onto…

“Lee? What the hell are you messing around with letting him get this bad? Just because you don’t have classes or whatever tomorrow doesn’t mean you can let my boyfriend get blackout drunk!”

“Well next time i’ll leave him there then - is that what you’d prefer Hamilton? The rest of his group was gone by the time I arrived. If you must  know i cut my date short to bring him home.”

Alex frowns. “Date?” Did that mean that Aaron had lied? That he was out drinking alone?  The concern must have shown on his face because Lee rubbed his face and groaned..

“He lied to you didn’t he?”

Alex nodded. “Said he was with you and Monroe.”

“Monroe isn’t even in new York Hamilton - he’s gone back to Virginia. Some emergency popped up.”

“Shit! It’s all my fault - i should have come straight back after classes instead of messing around with the Schuylers and then going to ‘the room’”

“Okay i’m calling a temporary truce - First it’s not your fault stop blaming yourself. Second we both get this idiot into bed and then -”

Aaron stirs. He starts mumbling. Alex bends down. “Aaron? Aaron are you-”

“Theo…no… STOP LYING….Theo” Aaron starts crying.

Lee frowned and glanced at Alex out of the corner of his eye. “Are you -”

“Forget it Lee - this isn’t the first time i’ve had to deal with my boyfriend pining after his dead fiance okay” 

He must have gotten the message across because Lee turned on his heel and made to leave the apartment. Before he closed the door he turned back and said “for what it’s worth… can you tell John i’m sorry… i never meant-”

“For fucks sake Lee apologise yourself - you know where he works.” He turns back to Aaron “But for what it’s worth…. Thanks for bringing him back safe”

Lee left the apartment and Alex was again left to take care of his boyfriend who was crying out for a ghost...Left trying to fill a hole he could fit no matter how hard he tried.

*********************************************************************************************

Lee was worried. That was nothing new to him, he tended to over thing and overthinking led to worry which could lead to panic which in turn left him having an ‘episode’.

The thing that was worrying him was Hamilton. For such an opinionated person Lee had been surprised to say the least to see him so resigned to Aaron appearance. 

And for to to be resigned to be taking second place to a ghost of a woman he never met…. Lee wasn’t sure about much but he knew that wasn’t a sign of a healthy relationship. 

Then of course, he thought to himself, of course he had to go bring up Laurens. John laurens. Now that had definitely been a mistake. Something he hoped John agreed with. Because honestly when you mix a confused bisexual with alcohol and then add a curly haired, freckle faced idiot, (who is clearly pining for his best friend) the results were never pretty. 

And then the aftermath… Waking up naked next to John Laurens had not been on his to do list. So… he left. 

And had somehow managed to avoid having that conversation for a month. He knew it had bothered John. 

John who wore his heart on his sleeves and who was way to cute for his own good.  Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take Hamiltons advice. The date hadn’t been going great tonight anyway… maybe him and John could figure something out...

But because he was worrying he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. So when he was grabbed from behind and the scent of Chloroform dominated his senses he was too surprised to even think about fighting back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know in real life Martha is younger than John but i cant stop seeing him with older siblings in my head. he is just so smol.
> 
> Also WTF happened with Lee?? (like im not kidding im writing chapter 13 and i get this amazing idea so now im editing like all the chapters and Lee's sub-plot was an addition. originally he drops off Aaron and is like "bye asshole see you round")


	6. Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette hated his name.....Because who in their right mind, in this day and age named their kid after 5 saints?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette approaches Alex and the conversation only ends due to a mental breakdown

Alex woke early. He drained a cup of coffee, grabbed his laptop and his notes and was out of the apartment before Aaron had opened his eyes.

He knew it was probably unfair to leave like this, but he couldn’t face him after last night. Alex supposed he was being irrational. Aaron couldn’t control his filter when he was drunk. Theodosia was just still on his mind. It wasn’t Aarons fault. He should go back and stay with him. 

By this time Alex had nearly left the building. He turned around and stared at the stairs. Should he? It wasn’t the first time Aaron had gotten drunk midweek.Maybe something had come up and he had needed someone to talk to and Alex hadn’t been there….

Alex could feel his anxiety climbing. 

“Alex?”

What if Aaron woke up and needed something. What if… for once (he dared to hope) he would call out to Alex first. And that time he wouldn’t be there.

“Alex?  Est ce que tu va bien?”  _ (are you alright?)  _

Alex jumped at the sudden hand on his shoulder and spun around.

“Laf! What are you doing here? Its Saturday - did we have plans? I completely forgot - I was just running out to grab some coffee for myself and Aaron then we were going to head down to the museum and... grab… grab lunch...”

He trailed off at the look his friend was giving him. The narrowed eyes. The small frown. 

“Oui mon ami? _ (yes my friend?) _ You were saying? Coffee oui? Or non. Or….” his voice trailed off and his narrowed eyes seemed to pierce Alex’s heart. “Lies?”

Alex groaned. He shouldn’t have chanced it. Not with Lafayette. He could  smell a lie a mile away. 

“For your information, i was just talking to our dear friend this morning. He seemed quite put out you managed to get that ‘Souhait de Mort’  _ (death wish)  _ from his sister yesterday. So unless you devoured a full bag of coffee in the space of 12 hours i highly doubt your going to get anymore.”

“Laf…”

“I’m not finished Alex - don’t interrupt -  c'est extrêmement impoli  _ (its extremely rude) _ \- and I happen to know ton petit ami  _ (your boyfriend) _ is out cold and will be nursing a particularly bad hangover. Now. You, ‘mon petit lion’  _ (my little lion) _ , you are coming with me.” 

Alex sighed and followed Lafayette from the building. He just had this way about him that made people hate to upset him.

“I’m sorry Laf, it’s just hard…”

Lafayette stopped walking. “What did he do Alexander”

Alex stopped and frowned. Lafayette hardly ever used their full names preferring to use nicknames - (“oh, they are beaucoup plus amusant  _ (much more fun) _ . And we are are best friends non?”).

“Laf? What are you talking about? He was just... “ Alex sighed again and rubbed his eyes. “He was calling out for _ her _ all night and I just…” 

Alex took a deep breath and looked up to Lafayette with tears lining his eyes, “sometimes i just wish he could forget about her, why can’t I be enough for him?”

“Alex-”

“No Laf!” Alex grabbed his hands and stared at him. “You knew him before right?” He could feel the panic and desperation seeping into is voice. “What can I do? How can I help him?”

Lafayette frowned, before bring a now sobbing Alex into his arms “I am sorry mon ami  _ (my friend) _ . I do not think you can”

*********************************************************************************************

Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette hated his name. His friends knew it was absurdly long but he hadn’t revealed it again - he wasn’t stupid enough to draw  _ that _ sort of interest onto himself and not wanting all the questions he had…  well he hadn’t exactly lied… more evaded. Because anyway, who in their right mind, in this day and age named their kid after 5 saints? And then proceeded to stick them with an absurd title that was unneeded.

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. So Laf it was. His abbreviated surname was enough in this country. 

But he should have known it would all come out at one point. He was in the middle of hugging Alex when he see’s  _ her _ of the corner of his eye. She is leaning against the side a building not 50 meters away.  She hasn’t spotted him, too busy looking at her phone, and he’s not stupid enough to think that even if she spots him the new hair colour will be enough to avoid recognition. Because even after all these years - he had recognised her immediately.

“Alex I need you to trust me.” He tries to keep the fear from seeping into his voice. Alex has enough shit going on at the moment and he doesn’t need the  DGSE  down on top of him.None of them need the shit storm that would bring. “Please follow me and we will finish this talk at the Apartment” Lafayette pulls his keys from his pocket, grabs Alex by the hand, drags him down the road a bit and nearly shoves him through the car door. Alex barely manages to steady himself yet Lafayette can’t bring himself to care at that point. His hands are shaking, and now that he is further away he feel the brief moment of adrenaline creeping away, leaving only the fear and anxiety in its place.

“What’s wrong Laf?” 

Too close. She shouldn’t be this close. It was too soon. It was only….. It had been 10 years. 

“MERDE!” _(shit)_ Alex jumped as Lafayette suddenly yelled. “Putain.” _(fuck)_

“Laf? Whats -”

“Ta gueule _(shut up)_ Alex! I have to get out of here now. Bordel de merde!”   _(oh Fuck)_

Alex is slightly worried (and lets admit it - slightly amused) as he watches his usually calm and collected friend start cursing like the world was ending. 

“Mon dieu  _ (my God) _ Laf! Watch your mouth” he teases as the car is unlocked. 

Alex hops in the car and watches as his friend struggles to put the key into the engine. His teasing smile fades and he puts a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Laf? You’re starting to scare me what is it?” He can feel Laf shaking under his hand and quickly draws him in for a hug. He can feel the tears soak into his shirt and it was at that momnet Alex realised there was something seriously wrong.

Lafayette looks up with tears streaming down his face. “Je ne veux pas partir. ne les laisse pas m'emmener.”  _ (I don’t want to leave. Don’t let them take me away) _

Alex was completely confused about what had spooked his friend. And why was he talking like that? Leaving? Why would he have to leave? But he was clear on one thing: “Laf, we’ll switch, your in no position to be driving.”

 

*********************************************************************************************

The drive seemed to take longer than usual. Lafayette was curled up in a ball on the passenger seat. His eyes were wide open, scanning the sidewalks and the roads. It was like he was being hunted. 

“Laf… talk to me please… you just started freaking out… “

“Please mon petit lion… please just take me to the others… I - I need to tell them as well. But before that… Wine. A bottle of the good stuff…”

“Should i call the sisters as well?”

“Oui. They already know part of the story but…. Not all of it…. “

Alex cast another look at the seemingly broken man beside him. What had happened? He had broken down, hugged Laf, and then… a mess…

Pulling into the carpark outside the fancy apartment complex, Alex realised two fundamental things at the same time. 1) Laaf was in no position to move. He didn’t even know if he would be able to walk. 2) There was no way in hell Alex would be able to carry him. (he had never resented his short stature so much before) 

Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Hercules. 

“What happened Alex- I swear to god if it’s not serious i’m going to han-”

“Herc, Laf is after having some sort of mental breakdown…” 

“What o you mean?” he could hear he a slight twinge of fear in his voice

Alex just kept talking.

“He’s after freaking at something and I have him in the car now - we are outside the complex, I don’t think i’d be able to carry him in and - ”

“I’m on my way”

“Tell John to call the sisters - something happened Herc, he was fine one minute and next he was freaking out - he said he needs to talk to us all”

Lafayette just stayed where he was, curled up and scanning the entrance to the carpark muttering to himself.

“Non. Not now. Not here….”

By the time Hercules had came sprinting out of the building Lafayette had started crying again. Hercules opens the door and carefully unbuckles and scoops up his boyfriend. Alex locks the car and races ahead to open the doors.


	7. the diamond in the rough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit starts to get serious. we learn about why Laf was so spooked. #TragicBackstory

The apartment is silent except for lafayette as he drinks the wine straight from the bottle (and John who is wincing and icing a black eye - courtesy of Lafayette when he tried to take the bottle away from him).

The doorbell rings and Hercules gestures at Alex to open it, not moving from Lafayettes side, not letting go of his hand.

Alex jumps up, but even before he gets there the door wings open to reveal Angelica on her knees, after picking the lock. Eliza steps forward first and opens her arms to Alex. He stands there for a minute before running over to give Eliza a hug.

“Shh Alex, your okay.”

He looks up confused. “What do you mean Eliza - its Laf there’s something wrong with, not me. I don’t know what happened, he just freaked and- “

“Angelica … i don’t think he told them”

“Told us what?” It’s Hercules. He’s still sitting on the couch, arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend. “If you know what’s wrong with him Angelica Schuyler you better start talking or i swear to god i’ll never forgive you.” his eyes drift over to where Peggy has closed the door and Eliza holds onto Alex like she’s terrified he’ll leave. “I’ll never forgive any of you.”

Alex steps back out of Eliza’s hold. “Betsy? What happened? Tell us!” He can feel all of his emotions he has been bottling up over the last few months start to crack. “What is wrong with him? How can we help him - “

“You can’t.”

It’s the first thing Angelica has said. “There’s nothing any of us can do, - Je suis impuissant _(i am helpless)_ , and that makes this whole thing ten times worse” She looks up through tear filled eyes. “I’m so sorry. None of you deserve this. Especially you Herc. But you have to remember - it’s not his fault. You can’t blame him for any - ”

“Stop Angelica.” All eyes turn to Lafayette. “It’s too late to change anything. If they tracked me this quickly it’s only a matter of time before…” His voice catches and he buries his head in Hercules shoulder.

Alex looks to where Eliza and Peggy were now sitting on the floor. Silent tears streaming down their cheeks.

“I should have told you all sooner, i just, J’etais effrayé _(i was scared)_. All i wanted was Liberté _(freedom)_ ,une petite chance de vivre ma propre vie, de vivre selon mes propres règles _(a small chance to live my own life, to live by my own rules)_ ”

Alex realises that Laf has gotten so worked up, he doesn’t realise he has switched back into french. He realises it doesn’t matter though. Everyone here understood the majority of the language. John had told him about how when they first met Laf they had all gone to french classes (“fucking nightmare Alex be glad you weren’t around back then”) to help improve their skills after they realised Laf had a habit of fluctuating between his mother-tongue and english.

His head snaps up as he hears Lafayette move out of Hercules arms. Then suddenly without warning. Lafayette has thrown the bottle of wine at one of the walls. It hits one of his flags. Alex watches as the red wine stains the french flag and can’t help but wonder if Lafayette had meant to aim for one of his french flags.

Lafayette takes a deep breath. “I need something stronger to have this conversation.”

“Laf, baby, you just chugged ¾ of a bottle of Pinot Noir, you don’t need anything stronger, you’re barely standing!”

“What did i say Herc? j'ai besoin de ça ce soir _(i need this tonight)_ , please. Let us all go out and drink, oui? A - a fun night before, before i - i have to….” he bursts into tears and sinks to the ground and curls into himself.

“Gilbert - do you want me to tell the story?” Angelica asks softly. Alex is thrown for a second before he see’s Laf nod. He then realises he didn’t actually retain the knowledge of Laf’s name. Because it was Laf or nothing. He was always rather touchy about his name.

Angelica takes a deep breath, wipes the tears from her eyes and starts at the beginning.  
*****************************************************************************************************  
Angelica remembers the day like it was yesterday. She had been 11 years old when she had come across the smaller french boy. He was looking panicked and had kept glancing over his shoulder as he ran down the street. He had stood out to her almost immediately, his bright red, a shade she had never seen before. Five minutes later h had doubled back and was scanning the street. She had been eating ice-cream in the sweet shop with her mother who was asking her about school. It was then the boy had run inside.

He was dressed well Angelica noticed. The clothes fit him perfectly. Or they had. They were now ripped and the boy was covered in dirt. He noticed Angelica watching, had ran across the parlor and squeezed in between her and the wall. He had ignored her mothers questions- hadn’t heard them she realized later- and had watched the window. A group of men walked by and he had ducked and hidden so fast that angelica had thought she had imagined him for a moment.

She hadn’t known who the men were. But her mother had connected the dots and whispered to angelica to not look at the boy - to pretend he wasn’t there. The men had continued on their way and angelica had gotten on her knees to see the boy on his knees under the table muttering - praying she realized - in…. French.

“Mother, he is speaking in french… why? We are not in lessons”  
She remembered her mother smiling and explaining that he spoke french like she spoke English. It was his native language.

She had been a brash child, she had dragged the boy out from under the table and had started babbling away to him in french. He had seemed confused at first but had quickly warmed up to the boisterous young girl.

Her mother had thrown her heavy coat over the small boy and bought him an ice-cream. The boy who he had then introduced himself as ‘Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette’

Her mother had frozen at the mention of the name. Her mouth silently mouthing ‘Marquis de Lafayette’ before interrupting Angelica's’ description of her sisters.

“Ta mère ne serait pas Marie Louise Jolie de La Rivière?” _(your mother wouldn’t be Marie Louise Jolie de La Rivière?)_

“Oui” He had been confused but had shrugged it off. Everyone he met in France knew who he was, and who his parents had been-it wasn’t too far a stretch that someone in America had heard of them.

Looking back Angelica realised how her mother had smiled sadly and had scanned Gilbert's face for something before smiling in a satisfied way. “Tes yeux. Ils sont identiques à vos mères” _(Your eyes. They are identical to your mother's.)_ Gilbert’s smile disappeared. “Elle est morte maintenant. Six mois.” _(She is dead now. Six months.)_ and her mother had pressed a hand to her mouth before excusing herself.

Angelica and Gilbert had become as close as possible in those short few hours. He had finally opened up to what had happened when they were in a local park.

  
“les gardes sont entrés en courant dans ma chambre d'hôtel - ils m'ont dit de courir, ont dit que notre famille était attaquée” _(the guards came running into my hotel room - they told me to run, said I was under attack.)_ He pulled a phone from his pocket and stared glumly at the screen. No new messages. He was unsure if this was good or bad, but the sinking feeling in his stomach had him leaning towards the latter.

And it scared the shit out of him. His parents were dead. His Grandmother was missing. Part of wanted to return home. Home to Château de Chavaniac - it was the only home he had ever known. He was expected to take over and to marry Adrienne……

His stomach heaved. He did not want to marry his best friend. It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty - he could see she was, he just wasn’t…. Interested. He had heard the other boys his age talking about how pretty she was and how jealous they were that he had been chose to marry her… but the fact that remained was that he did not want it.  
“je suis désolé Angelica,car je t'ai induit en erreur” _(i am sorry angelica, for i have mislead you)_  
“Mon ami?” _(my friend?)_  
“I have en réalité been able to communiquer in english for the part.”

Angelica had sat on the grass for a minute staring at him like he was an idiot. He began to fidget under her gaze. Finally after what felt like an age - she threw back her head and laughed. Her mother's head had glanced over to them only to see her daughter laughing her head off like a hooligan. She was about to question her daughters antics when the boy - Marie’s boy - Gilbert had spoken in hushed tones. In english. It seemed like the boy was smarter than she gave him credit for. Pretending to be ignorant of the language surrounding him until he knew he could trust them. And it seemed her daughter had come to the same conclusion.

Standing up and walking over to them to try and avoid attention she hunkered down and asked him to accompany her back to The Schuyler Mansion. “Unless of course you have been notified of the safety and wish for us to accompany us back to your grandmother” Angelica had teased. Smiling hesitantly he had reached up to accept the hand offered to him when his phone rang.

“Oui?” There was a pause. Then “Grand-mère? Où es-tu? Qu'est-il arrivé” _(Grandmother? where are you? what happened?)_ There was a pause. “Avec des amis” _(with friends)_. “La femme connaissait ma mère” _(the woman knew my mother)_ “Schuyler, je pense” ( _Schuyler i think)_ “êtes-vous certaine?” _(are you sure?)_ “Je vous aime aussi, grand-mère” _(I love you too grandmother)_

He finally looked up at her,but his eyes drifted to her mother. “She would like to speak to you”

Angelica was never told the specifics of what that 2 minute conversation held. But the aftermath had given her enough to go on. Gilbert's grandmother had been dying while on the phone. Bleeding out. A bullet had hit its mark and she was too far away from any sort of medical facilities. She make her mother promise to take gilbert in as a ward. To never reveal his true- parentage to anyone, as he now was also being hunted. “He will come into a large fortune”, his grandmother had said, “once he turns 21, but with that comes a promise of marriage. The Lafayette bloodline must continue and it falls to Gilbert.”

They had taken him to a salon. His bright red hair was dyed a dull brown. He was brought back to the house and All her father had been told was that he was the orphan of her dear friend, and had just arrived in america, via her last wishes. Her father had accepted (not that he would ever deny her mother anything) and the servants rushed to do up the spare room near the girl's quarters.

It was a month before Angelica accidentally spilt the beans to Peggy and Eliza. It had happened during their weekly bonding movie night. All three were curled up under a blanket and Eliza made some off hand comment about the British and french monarchies. Angelica had laughed and said “ask gil, he’d know all about that.” it wasn’t until she saw the look her sister was giving her that her mind connected to her mouth. What followed was a series of highly unladylike phrases (followed by an aghast “Angelica!” From Eliza.)

The next 20 minutes consisted of angelica calling him and requesting him to come to the theatre because she ‘may or may not have let something slip’ and now her sisters were curious.

Letting out a sigh Gil made his way to Angelica’s room. He told her sisters some of the story. How he had been with his grandmother when they were attacked. And how his grandmother was killed.he had promised them all to secrecy then. Explaining he had made some friends and that he didn’t want to be treated differently.

Then two years later he was running to angelica to tell her he was in love. And at 15 years old, he was happy in a way he had never before imagined he could be. He was safe and he was loved.

And there was no way in hell he was going back to France.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also catch my oh so subtle reference to harry potter there? #proudAF


	8. the two day interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a glimpse to a few different characters heads of the course of the two days following the revelations of the last chapter

There was silence. 

 

Lafayette sat with his back to the wall not looking at anyone. When he did lift his head it was to the sound of the apartment door slamming shut. He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to see who it was that had left. Even if deep down he already knew, he tried to convince himself if he didn’t see the proof it didn’t happen. That when he finally opened his eyes he’d be in bed, Hercs arms around him and….

 

“Jesus fuck”

 

Laurens. 

 

“We should give you guys some time to…..”

 

Peggy trailed off. He could feel the stares beating into him. Footsteps approached him, and he felt Angelica wrap him in a hug and press her lips to his forehead. “Come back to the house this weekend brother. Mother misses you terribly” he heard the door open again. And then click close softly behind them.

 

“Laff?”

 

He burst into tears. It was Alex.

 

His Hercules had left him.

 

******************************************************************************************************** 

 

He didn’t come back.

 

Two nights later and John and Alex were trying to get him to sleep. But they didn’t understand. He had to explain. He had to tell Herc the rest of the story. About what he decided. He had to know. He had to understand.

 

Truth be told he was terrified. What if Interpol were involved? What if the same group that hunted him so long ago were back? What if they had Hercules? What if what if what if…….

 

It was a constant cycle in his head. Each passing hour the thoughts built and swirled. Each passing hour his anxiety and fear grew. Each passing hour he contemplated coming clean about everything. 

 

After all how much worse could it make everything? 

 

******************************************************************************************************

 

He didn’t return to the apartment. 

 

Two nights later he was curled up opposite Lafayette sipping at a cup of hot chocolate. John had crashed on Laf’s bed after spending the day scouring the streets for Hercules. His phone was off and no calls were going through. Tempted to try again he glanced at his phone. No missed calls. No new messages. The last messages him and Aaron exchange blinked up at him.

 

**To: Burrfriend**

Wednesday 19:48 Something came up - Laff is a mess and Herc is nowhere to be found. 

Wednesday 21:29 Me and john are staying until we can get him calm.

Thursday 14:09 Aaron? Are you ok?

  
  


**From: Burrfriend**

Thursday 18:37 Tell Laff I hope he feels better soon. 

Thursday 18:39 I’ll keep an eye out for Herc.

 

**To: Burrfriend**

Thursday 18:41 Love you.

 

**From: Burrfriend**

Thursday 20:07 Good night Alex.

  
  


And that was it. No mention of Tuesday night. No apologies. 

 

He had  tried to call at one point to try to explain everything but his call was denied. He really hoped he hadn’t fucked up their relationship. And if he was being 100% honest with himself (which he most definitely was not) he kinda hoped he had. 

 

Because it was getting harder and harder watching the man he loved sink lower and lower, drowning his sorrows and knowing that he couldn’t help. 

 

****************************************************************************************************

 

He knew he was dreaming. It was the break of the peacefulness that gave it away. 

 

His eyes were closed and he could feel the sun beating against his face. He was sitting on a swing with a head on his lap. He was running his fingers through their hair. He could hear them humming - he knew that tune… it was part of the  Lohengrin opera.

  
  


It was where the original bridal chorus was used. 

 

He smiled to himself. Then the silence was broken. A baby’s cry. His eyes flew open. 

 

It was Theodosia. He head no longer on his lap. She was instead walking up and down the lawn giggling, holding a young girl by the hand. She was still humming the song. 

 

He blinked and the scene changed again. He was dancing. His little girl now eight years old standing on his feet as he thought her the waltz that her mother and he had danced to on their wedding day. Theo was sitting on a couch, curled up - her book forgotten as she laughed at him. 

 

His baby was 17 and curled up crying. Some boy had broken her heart and he was clueless as how to help her. Theo sat beside her whispering soothing words as he watched helpless from the kitchen. 

 

And then……  Lohengrin was back. His little girl - looking the splitting image of her mother was walking down the aisle. He was holding her arm leading her towards the man she loved so dearly.

 

Then the scene shifted.

 

It was him at the altar.

 

Then the dream turned to a nightmare. It was now Theo walking….. No floating towards him, for her feet did not touch the ground. Her hair loose and flowing above her head. Little Theodosia tight in her grasp. 

 

Then the mirage broke and his best man was racing up the aisle. 

 

And he woke up screaming.

 

He stretched over the bed,desperate to feel human flesh, to  ground him in reality. He felt only cold sheets. 

 

Alex was still not back. It had been 2 nights of nightmares. And there was nothing he could do to stop them. 

 

He climbed off the bed and quickly changed into clean clothes. Then grabbing some money, his phone and keys he left the quiet apartment, already ordering an uber.  

**********************************************************************************************************

 

John was passed the point of worried at this point. In Fact he was borderline terrified. It had been roughly 40 hours since Hercules had disappeared - storming out of he apartment with nothing but his phone and his jacket. He just hoped he had his wallet with him. 

 

Sitting on one of the beds in a darkened room he closed his eyes and tried to clear his head.

 

John had scourged every bar and hangout of theirs leaving messages with everyone he could think of to call him as soon as they caught sight of him. 

 

But was useless. He was nowhere to be found. It was if he had disappeared from New York altogether……

 

John froze and his eyes flew open.

 

Could he have left? Could Laff’s betrayal have hurt him enough for him to flee the city? The country?

 

He knew the answer already. It could. And it was looking more and more likely that he had. 

 

Pulling out his phone he sent another desperate text to Hercules

 

**To Herc-ohh**

Friday 11:42 Please tell me my assumptions are wrong.

Friday 11:43 Please tell me you have not left without letting him explain everything, that after hearing a singular account from Angelica - who doesn’t know the whole story herself you have RAN from your boyfriend, who is being HUNTED. 

Friday 11:50 Herc please - he is a mess come back, he hasn’t eaten, and he won’t sleep for fear you’ll come back and he’ll miss you.

Friday 12:00 if you don’t reply im buying a plane ticket. You have an hour.

 

**From: Herc-ohh**

Friday 12:02 please john - i need a few days.

Friday 12:04 i have just found out that the man i was going to propose to is already more or less engaged.

 

John dropped his phone. 

 

“Shit”

 

**To Herc-ohh**

Friday 12:05 Herc don’t be an idiot - he’s not engaged to her - he doesn’t want her - if he did he would have left - he wouldn’t be waiting for the love of his life to return 

Friday 12:10 He hasn’t moved Herc. Even if your angry with him…. You still love him don’t you?

 

**From Herc-ohh**

Friday 12:22 i don’t even know anymore

Friday 12:25 but i’ll come back. See you guys tomorrow. 

Friday 12:30 Please don’t tell anyone i was going to….. That i was thinking of….. You know…..

 

**To Herc-ohh**

Friday 12:31 I promise

 

*************************************************************************************************

 

Had it already been 2 days? To be honest he didn’t remember much of it.  He had only had one clear thought. Get out. The rest of his thoughts were just too jumbled to try and process.

 

It was only when he was halfway through his third pint in some back-street bar he found that the thoughts became clearer. 

 

  1. His love was more or less engaged - had been since he was a kid
  2. He was being hunted 
  3. He was as close to royalty as you could get without actually being royalty
  4. He was engaged.
  5. Engaged to some _Girl_
  6. What did that mean for them?
  7. Had he just been some experiment for some rich boy to try out before he settled down in some big mansion in France with a wife and kids?



 

No. he refused to count the last one - Laff had loved him - hadn’t he? Didn’t he? 

 

Why didn’t he follow him then? 

 

His hand went to the pocket of his jacket where he could feel the box. 

 

He planned to propose this weekend. They were going to sort Alex out tonight - try and get him to open up about Aaron. Thursday night there was going to be the group movie night where he was going to tell the group his plans after Laff had fallen asleep.

 

Then Friday night was meant to be the night. He had dinner plans in the French quarter and had bought 3 bottles of Laff’s favourite wine.  

 

But now…….

 

Here he was two days later sitting in his childhood bedroom, across the ocean in Antrim looking out of his window across the tow of Coleraine. Then the doorbell rang and sprinting down the stairs he could see who it was before he opened the door.

 

“Cato!” he sobbed.

 

“Jaysus Herc! What happened? I thought you were meant to be in america - proposing tonight!”

 

“There was a change of plans… do you want to come in?”

 

An hour later Cato was looking at him like he was insane.

 

“So let me get this straight. Your boyfriend has a mental breakdown, you literally have to carry him into your apartment, you hear a story about how by the age of 12 he was in an arranged marriage to his best friend, how his grandmother was shot and killed - how he couldn’t even go to the funeral because there was a good chance it was a trap, how he is currently being hunted…… and your here across the ocean because….”

 

Hercules glared at him. “I was about to propose - he never told me any of this - i don’t even know him anymore - if he lied about his life before, what else has he lied about? How do i know he even lov-”

 

Cato punches him on the arm.

 

“What the fuck Cato?”

 

“Your a fucking gobshite Herc.” he stands up, races upstairs and appears back with Herc’s phone and jacket in one hand and the ring box in the other.

 

“Now answer me this: ‘You love this guy don’t ya?’” 

 

Herc looked at his friend strangely “Yes”

 

“Do you wanna hold him?”

“Ummmm yes.”

“Please him?”

“Where is this going Cato?”

“Then ya gotta gotta try a little TENDERNESS!”

Hercules just stared down his best-friend. “Did you just quote shrek at me?”

“Maybe?”

 

“What the fuck Man?”

 

“The point being - it was an opportunity I was not going to pass up. Just like how i’m not going to miss out dragging by the ear back to New York so you can apologize-”

 

“WHAT? Why do i have to apolog-”

 

Cato hit him again - “don’t interrupt me Hercules it’s very rude. As i was saying we are going to New York and your going to apologize to your boyfriend, then you are going to get down on one knee and propose because you love him. And finally you can get one of your hot single male friends to show me around the city while you celebrate with your new fiancee. Are we clear?”

 

Hercules couldn’t hide his smile. “Aye. we do Cato, we do”

 

“Great - your paying for my ticket, because its your own fault we are here in the first place”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cato was literally just a spur of the moment addition. for anyone who doesn't know IRL he was the only slave owned by Hercules Mulligan. its unknown what happened to him but he and Herc were actually friends. :) so yay for historical refrencing


	9. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herc returns and Laf is super pissed.  
> People are threatened.  
> And Cato falls asleep everywhere.

It was a long flight. They had managed to get a non-stop flight from Dublin and eight hours later Cato was trying to do the maths in his head and it was one of the most amusing things Hercules had seen in a while.

“Wait wait - so we left Dublin at 8pm Friday - so now, 8 hours later we are in New York. BUT its not 4am Saturday, like my body is telling me, instead its only 11pm - STILL Friday. Herc my head hurts - too much maths too early.”

“Its okay Cato we’ll be back at the apartments by midnight. You can sleep in the uber.”

“Sounds like a plan - thank god we don’t have any bags - i couldn’t handle that much stress.”

Half an hour later, Cato was passed out, his head on Hercules shoulder. Hercules watches the city go by, the lights blurring, only for him to realise he is crying. He can’t remember why he ran now. He had just been so angry…

Finally they reach the apartment complex. He pays the uber and hoists Cato up. “Come on man… wakey wakey - i want you conscious when you meet Laf”

Walking up the stairs he could feel the dread pool in his stomach. How was he ever going to make it up to him? Finally they reach the apartment door. Cato presses his head to Hercules shoulder as he tentatively knocks. He hears a crash as if something has fallen or been thrown. And then…. Yelling. Lots of yelling. 

“NON. JOHN DO NOT OPEN IT”

“Laf……..don’t know,...... is”

“I DON’T CARE HE LEFT ME…… STRANGER…...OUR APARTMENT”

“LAF CHILL...maybe... speak?”

“ALEXANDER I WILL THROW THIS AT YOU I SWEAR TO GOD”

“Let……. Talk it through…..”

“NON…..BRING A STRANGER BACK……. NEVER CARED”

“Of course....loves….. Let him…”

“JOHN LAURENS BACK AWAY FROM THE DOOR”

“JESUS FUCKING SHIT LAF DROP THE FUCKING BOTTLE”

Something was thrown at the door and smashed. Cato jumper away from the door with a small yelp. And Hercules.....Hercules was beginning to understand what was happening. And he began to panic. Their apartment overlooked the car-park. If Laff had looked out in the last 5 minutes he would have seen Hercules helping a tired (or how it might have looked - drunk) guy out of an uber. He suddenly pushed Cato off. He would not let their relationship end over such a mistake.”

“John, John open the door - it’s not what it looks like…”

“Va te faire foutre, toi connard” _(go fuck yourself you asshole)_

“Laff, please i promise you he is just a friend from back in ireland - please babe open the door”

“ALEXANDER NON - I WILL CUT YOUR HAIR”

The silence was immedient from inside. Alex gasped and John winced.

“I’m not risking it. Herc i'm sorry”

“ALEXANDER YOU FUCKING WIMP OPEN THIS DOOR NOW” Herc bashed his fist onto the door.

Suddenly a key slid under the door, and he sent a silent thanks to both John and Alex - one distracted the other delivered.

Cato looked at Hercules with wide eyes - “the angry one is the one you wanted me to meet, I suppose?”

“Ummm….. Yes?”

Cato laughed nervously. “I suppose i’ll take the lead then if...” he lowered his voice -"better have both grooms alive for the big day right?"

“Wait! Cato! That a really bad idea!”

But it was too late. Cato opened the door and Herc managed to tackle him to the floor as the TV remote sailed out the door smashing against the far wall.

“JESUS LAF - calm down yeah? Just listen” he stood slowly and raised his hands in surrender. “The idiot on the ground is Cato- remember I told you about him before?” Lafayette paused in his search for something else to throw.

“Cato?”

“Hi Laf! I’ve heard so much about you" He shot Lafayette a grin. "Now if you could all kindly shut the fuck up, i'm jet lagged and this floor is quite nice - this carpet is so soft - like a…. Fluffy….. pillow…..”

Laf’s eyes softened as he stared in surprise at Cato who proceeded to pass out on the ground. Then his eyes drifted over to Hercules and hardened again.

John and Alex quickly grabbed Cato by the arms. “We’ll get him settled into Alex’s old room and then we’ll crash for the night. See you guys tomorrow” John’s overly chipper voice rang out. Alex closed the door behind them, only for it to open again as John grabbing his laptop and earphones off the counter.

“You! You are not welcome here - you left me when I needed you the most-”

“I needed time Laf - I just found out  you had been lying to my face for years-”

“I never _lied_ par-ce Herc-”

“Fine - you left out explicit details about your life that affected me - like how your engaged to someone else, how your practically royalty- do you have any idea how stupid I felt - looking at the stupid ring - it must look like some trash compared to the finery that you are use to -”

“Ring?” Laf’s voice cracked.

“What?” Herc froze. The words flowing through his mind. What he had just relieved.

“You said the ring would look stupid - what ring?” Laf's voice had gone soft. Hopeful. And his eyes....

“Ah fuck -I was… I thought… I had a plan for this week… and well then everything happened… and I totally understand if..” Shit. why couldn't he form coherent sentences?

“HERCULES MULLIGAN” Lafayette yelled at him, shocking him into momentary silence - “were you going to..”

Taking out the small box that was still in his pocket he nervously started to smooth at the edges with his hands. “Umm yeah … I was but then everything... and now I totally understand if you don’t want to-”

“Oui”

“What?”

“Oui. Yes. Si. I do. I will” Lafayette's eyes were shining with unshed tears

“Oh. okay then. That’s a relief”

“”So…. “ Lafayette raised an eyebrow “am I meant to just imagine what my ring looks like? Or are you going to actually propose?” Laf gave him a teasing smile.

“Oh shit - right” Hercules took a step back and got down on one knee. “So.. my love… Mon amour... Will you marry me?”

“OUI, mon cher, oui”

Slipping the ring onto to Lafayettes finger,,it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of him. Pressing his lips to his boyfriend - his fiancé - he finally felt like he was home.

“So mon cher, how did you plan for us to celebrate?”

“Well I bought 3 bottles of that red you love and…” he trailed off at the guilty look on Laf’s face. “Really babe? All 3?”

“Well in my defense you stormed out and I was highly emotionally unstable.” He pointed at the empty bottles of wine by the sink.

“In that case then…” He picked up Laf who immediately wrapped his legs around his waist, “maybe we can move this party to the bedroom?”

“I thought you’d never ask” and with a devilish grin, his scheming fiancé kissed him again,and they made their way to their bedroom, the trail of clothes growing with each step.

**********************************************************************************************************************************

Alex wanted to cry. “I don’t miss this at all John, like it’s been three hours - how the hell are they still going at it?”

John just highered the volume on the movie they were watching. “I’m putting it down to both the ‘newly engaged’ category as well as the ‘i missed you so much and i’m sorry’ category”

“John to be perfectly honest i couldn’t give a shit which category you’d put their sex under at this point.” Alex let out a sigh and stuck his tongue out at John. “Speaking of Significant others” John teased “have you spoken to Aaron about how Herc was back?” Alex’s smile lost its playfulness and John couldn’t stop the rising hope in his chest. Did he finally have a chance?

“I’ll ring him later. Anyway Herc might want to tell him the news himself.”

Alex frowned to himself as he adjusted the pillows. How was Aaron going to react to the news of the engagement? The last engagement of their friends hadn’t gone over too well….

He subconsciously rubbed had his wrist, although healed, the skin was still a little red and dry.

“Alex? You alright? You zoned out on me there?”

Alex blinked only to see John waving a hand in front of his face. “Hmm? Yeah i’m grand. Just got lost in my thoughts”

John frowned. “You know you can tell me anything right Alex? Your one of the closest friends i have.” He took a breath and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We worry about Alex, your so quiet lat-”

“John I said i’m fine. I’m just stressed about college. The assignments have me drowning, so you probably won’t see me this weekend.”

“Yeah, i get it Alex. Just remember that you can talk to me about anything. Please?” John shot him a smiile and turned back to the movie.

“Of course John.” and after hesitating for a second Alex leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

But at the last moment John turned his head and Alex ended up kissing his on the lips.

Oh. 

It only lasted around two or three seconds but it was enough time for Alex to momentarily forget to pull away.

“Oh Shit! I’m sorry John - i didn’t mean to…” Alex started rambling and John contemplated kissing him to shut him up.

But he was still with Aaron. And no matter how much he resented it he didn’t want to put his best-friend in the position where he felt like he has to choose. “It’s fine Alex - calm down” Then he smiled teasingly. “We all like boys here anyway”

“Hahaha John you’re hilarious - i'm going to leave anyway - i'll should probably get back - leave Cato in my old room it's fine. He needs the sleep.”

“Don’t be silly Alex- stay here - there’s plenty of room.” John pulled Alex back onto the bed. “Go to sleep Lexi - i’ll drop you back to the apartment in the morning”

Alex sighed. “Okay John - if you’re sure it’s no bother... I can easily take the couch...”

“Alex if i really cared that much i wouldn’t have offered no shut up so i can sleep as well”

And the next morning even if he wouldn’t admit it, it was one of the best night's’ sleep in a while. And one of the first times he had woken without a seed of fear taking root.


	10. what is this feeling (so sudden and new)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys have feelings 
> 
> EMOTION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING
> 
> Things get a little heated near the end of the chapter - nothing too explicit don't worry!

Alex woke up feeling warm. There was an arm wrapped around his waist, keeping him secure against the body. A head was buried in the crook of his neck and he could feel the breaths released flowing across him. A pair of lips were at his shoulder and the curly hair was soft against his cheek.

Alex kept his eyes closed for a bit and tried to slow his heartbeat a little. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't be in this position. He was in a happy relationship (but was he?) with a man who loved him (who was he kidding?) and here he was pressed up against his best friend like they were lovers. (But… what if…)

He opened his eyes. Blinking at him from the counter was John’s digital clock.

**5:57 Saturday Morning**

He tried to force his body to move. To get up. Leave the bed. Get some coffee. Call Aaron. Contact his professors. Figure out the work he missed. Check for new assignments.

But instead he found himself closing his eyes, turning over, pressing his forehead to Johns chest, and falling back to sleep.

Because wrapped in his best friends arms, he felt safe.

And he couldn’t remember the last time he woke up feeling so peaceful. So safe. So…. Loved.

***********************************************************************************************************

John woke up at 6am. He had felt Hamilton move in his arms and had woken up  to see the position they were in. He had been about to apologize when, to his surprise, Alex had turned over, curled up next to him, and fallen back to sleep.

His mind spun. What did this mean? Did it mean anything? Was Alex even aware of what he was doing - and if he was…. How did he see it? Was it just two friends sleeping in the same bed or was it the hope of something more?

At 6:30 he was still lying there looking down and smiling softly at the small bundle cuddled up to him. ‘Little Lion’ Laff called him. Maybe ‘Kitten’ would be a better nickname.

And by 6:45 he had both arms around the crazy coffee addict he had found himself in love with, falling back to sleep and wishing that there would come a day when this moment didn’t feel so much like a dream, but was set in stone and finally became a reality.

But when John woke again at 9am, Alex was gone.

********************************************************************************************************

When Alex awoke again it was 8:15. He was warm, safe and wrapped up in John’s arms.

And he liked it.

He momentarily forgot to breath as the realization hit him. He liked it? He enjoyed this feeling of comfort he had unintentionally found in his best friend. And he realised with a sinking feeling, he enjoyed lying here in peace half asleep with John, more than he did doing most things with Aaron.

Did that make him a bad person? He should leave before things got awkward between him and John. Beside even if he was ~~most definitely~~ maybe feeling something for John, it didn’t matter. He was still with Aaron.

And with the weddings that were coming up, Aaron would need his support more now than ever.

He owed him that much at least.  Turning to look at John, his curls fanned around his face like a halo, Alex couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to slip into a relationship with him. Before he could chicken out, he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

As he pulled his runners on and closed the bedroom door shut he hear Herc and Laff giggling quietly from their bedroom. And Cato….

Cato was sitting at the breakfast bar nursing a cup of coffee. He looked up as the heard the door close and gave Alex a small wave. “Join me Alex, I want to get to know all of Herc’s friends.”

“How do you even remember my name? You looked completely out of it last night” Alex laughed.

“Hercules has described you all to me before - Alexander Hamilton: genius, coffee addict and a temper to match the colour of his hair!” He laughed. “Me own mother was a redhead herself and me dad use to say _‘_ _Hell hath no fury like a pissed off redhead with an Irish temper’_ So as soon as you walked out of John’s bedroom with _that_ bed hair I knew you had to be the one - what was it Herc said Laf calls you - little lion?”

Alex just stared at him. An idea was forming in his head but he wasn’t sure if he should. Or more specifically if he could. John was his…

Cato frowned. “What?”

“Your accent is so fucking weird”

Cato rolled his eyes “Cheers mate”

John was his best friend he decided. He had Aaron and he needed to sort himself out.

“Also it wasn’t like that with John”

Cato looked up, a spark of of interest in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah - i'm in a relationship with another guy, who i should be getting back to now anyway. It was nice to meet you though mate”

“You too Alex - and is… i mean John… is he also…”

“He’s gay as hell Cato don’t worry - and yes - he is single”

Why did the words hurt so much to choke out? But the look on Cato’s face convinced him he’d made the right choice. He heard a something fall from John’s room.

“Tell the couple i had to head back yeah? I’ll catch up with you all later”

The door clicked shut and 30 seconds later John flew out of his room. He was momentarily surprised to see Cato. “Hey man- you haven’t happened to see Alex?”

“You just missed him - said he had to head back to his boyfriends.”

“Oh. okay. Thanks….. I’ll see you later… i just…” he trailed off looking back at Cato - you wouldn’t happen to be gay would you?”

Cato laughed. “Exactly as described - John Laurens - blunt as hell and always up for some fun” John sent him a grin and peeling off his shirt he flung it to  the side.

“The only question is Cato - are you?”

*********************************************************************************************

“Mon cher - i missed you so much” 

Herc smiled as traced random patterns over his fiance's spine

“Laf babe - i know it's the 5th time you’ve told me since we’ve woken up. Or rather since _you_ woke me up- “

He stopped talking and frowned, turning to look at the wall separating their bedroom from John’s. “Laf did Alex go home last night?”

“Way to ruin the mood chéri” _(darling)_

“No Laf - i’m being serious, i could have sworn i heard -”

There it was again. A moan and a small laugh.

Lafayette’s head shot to face the wall. A mix of confusion and anger came over it.

“Comment osait-il!” _(how dare he)_ he hissed. “I know we don’t accept Alex’s relationship with Aaron, but for John to convince him to sleep with him?? This is going to dévaster _(devastate)_ Alex - he’s probably not 100% sober -Je dois arrêter ça”. _(i need to stop this)_

Suddenly he was out of the bed and before anyone had processed what happened Lafayette had slammed John’s door open and started yelling in french. When he got to the room he saw what Lafayette had missed - Cato.

He was never so thankful that his friend had picked German as his elective.

“If you’r looking for Alex, Laf, he left about 10 minutes ago” Cato suddenly interrupted.

Lafayette turned pale and turned to look at Cato “Mon Dieu!! _(my god)_ Cato! John! I’m so sorry, i thought…” he glanced at John who looked suddenly very uncomfortable. “Forgive me”

Herc looked over at Cato and received only a wink before he ducked under the covers and did something that caused John to let out a sharp “shit”

He dragged his fiance out of the room. He was more surprised to see disappointment on Laff’s face rather than relief. His answer came soon enough. “A small part of me hoped…. Hoped he had admitted to Alex how he feels and convinced him to break it off with Aaron…. I worry about them Hercules… both of them.”

“Don’t worry Babe. i’ll talk to Cato later.”

They ended up curled on the couch under the blanket they dragged from their room, a movie was playing and they were content, wrapped around each other, relaxing in silence, relishing in each others presence.

****************************************************************************************************

 

If he was being honest John knew exactly why he had invited Cato into his bed. It was simple. Betrayal. Jealousy.

John had never been the best at suppressing his emotions, so he tended to get himself relief in the easiest way possible. Sex.

It cleared his head. It gave him something to focus all his attention on. He had been ready to run down stairs of the complex half naked to try and reach Alex. to ask him to stay. For him to choose him over Aaron - who would ultimately break Alex’s heart.

Because Burr didn’t do love anymore.

John felt Cato’s lips against his neck, he felt his hand between his thighs….. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine it was Alex.

But the Irish accent whispering in his ear pulled him from those thoughts. And John was left with the realization that he was done.

Done with waiting for Alex to wake up and see him standing there.

Cato was here. Cato liked him. And if he was being honest - Cato was gorgeous.

Pressing himself against Cato, he pulled back slightly looking at Cato in the eyes, he gave him a wild grin, a grin that promised mayhem, and slammed their lips together.

‘Yes’ he thought to himself. ‘I can work with this’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone get the title reference?


	11. stay alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is the hospital and Alex is freaking tf out

Alex regretted everything.

It was all his fault.

He knew...  He’d known and he’d left - 3 day… He could have easily stayed and gone to visit each day…

He should have known to prioritize his relationship over another…

And while _this_ had happened - and he’d been with John… contemplating… how could have even thought of giving up Aaron.

And leaning across the bed he picked up his boyfriends hand, kissed his knuckles and glanced at the heart monitor.

God he hated hospitals.

*************************************************************************************

***12 hours previously***

 

Alex was walking back to the apartment his head in a tizzy. He knew there was a good chance John would take Cato up on his offer (why wouldn’t he - if Alex had been single he would have - he almost couldn’t stop himself with John…) but what he couldn’t understand was why the idea of it bothered him so much. He was in a relationship with Aaron. He was with Aaron. He was happy with Aaron….

But was he? The feeling of peacefulness, of comfort, of… home he’d felt last night…. He hadn’t felt like that in so long…

He knew he needed to talk to George. He could always count on his adopted father to be the voice of reason. He couldn’t even count the amount of time’s he had helped him sort through his thoughts.

But before he bothered him he’d start with a list. That was what he also suggested first anyway. Pros and Cons.

But of what?

Breaking up with Aaron?  Potentially ruining his friendship with John?

Staying with Aaron? Dating John?

And then there was Cato to factor in. He glanced back towards the apartment complex from the carpark. The blinds of the apartment were still shut. Well if anything happened with Cato it was his own fault.

He kept walking.

He was happy with Aaron. There was no mistaking that. There were nights where they had stayed up together just laughing and talking. The sex was great as well. That was how their relationship had started.

One stupid party thrown by Angelica Schuyler in their mansion like home. Countless shots. One depressed boy, dragged along by his friends. One drinking to forget. One drinking because it was all he could do to distract himself from the pain. A meeting of eyes. A cocky wink. One drinking game. And seven minutes trapped in a bedroom. And after 5 minutes locking the door from the inside.

That had been enough. But then Aaron's roommate, Andrew Jackson had walked out on him. Alex hadn’t heard the argument but when he had arrived at the apartment that night, half of the furniture was gone and Aaron was in the worst mood he had ever seen him. Aaron had lashed out and Alex had walked out the door with no intention of returning. Then he had heard Aaron crying. And he had sounded so heart- broken... so alone…It had taken Alex approximately 20 minutes to cool down and to return to the apartment. Using his spare key he had been surprised to see the extent of the mess in the rooms.

There was a clock smashed into a million pieces.

The tv had a crack from where something had hit it.

A pile of books were in a pile - as if someone had just thrown them one after another at the wall - the spines on a few were broken and Alex cringed inwardly.

It was then Alex realized he couldn’t see Aaron. He called his name a few times and was about to leave for the second time - the final time he had told himself - when he had seen the drops of blood on the white carpet. And how they were in a bit of a trail leading to...

His head shot up and he looked towards the bathroom. The door had been closed.

He could still remember the panic he had felt as he maneuvered around objects - trying to get to the bathroom. The feeling of fear. Of impending doom. “Aaron? Aaron open the door!”

There was silence then a quiet, so low he almost didn’t hear it - “I’m sorry Alex.”

The panic grew to desperation - he pulled out of his phone and had emergency services rang while looking around for something he could use to bust the door open. His eyes fell to the stack of notes on the table and saw it. The paperclip.

He had the door open by the time the call connected. “Boyfriend - suicide attempt - hurry” he had been crying. Because this couldn’t happen to him. Not again. He would not let anyone die on his watch.

Because it was his fault if Aaron was…. He was the one who had walked out...

He wrapped Aaron's wrists in clean towels.

The ambulance arrived. The rest had been a blur.

It was afterwards he made Aaron promise.

“Please Aaron. If you ever think…. Tell me first…. Let me speak to you - i can’t come home and see that again. After Peter... Please Aaron. Please!”

He had promised, through tears and alex and been satisfied.”

“Alex - who’s…. Who was he?”

He had smiled sadly before telling him the story of his cousin.

He owed Aaron to stay by his side. Aaron needed someone who loved him, someone who understood.

He went to grab his phone before realizing he had left it in the apartment. The memory replaying in his mind, he started walking just a little faster.

Arriving at the apartment nearly out of breath, he found that the one day he had forgotten his phone was the one day he had nearly lost him. He had called the ambulance again, feeling as if he was at the brunt of some sick joke, reliving the memory.  Bandaging the wrists.

But now…… Alex looked back at his boyfriend - the newly bandaged wrists. What had happened in those 3 days that had left him needing to break his promise?

He borrowed one of the doctor's phones, in order to call his friends and ask someone to bring him his phone.

*****************************************************************************************

 

“Hel- fuck off C” he pushed Cato away from his sweet spot before he ended up moaning down the phone. Cato shot him a smirk and he felt a hand creep up his thigh. “sorry yeah who is this?”

“John? It's Alex - i’m at the hospital”

“Woah - slow down Alex” John pushed Cato off him as he nearly fell off the bed - diving for his jeans.

“Aaron tried to kill himself - i left my phone at yours, so i don’t know if he tried to call me before - but i need my phone, can you tell the others?” He saw Alex’s phone on the ground.

There were 5 missed calls over the course of half an hour.

“I have your phone here. - Cato go get the Herc and Laf.” He heard a sharp intake of breath.

“So… Cato joined you then?” john was about to deny it - but… he was getting over Alex, Cato was helping him - he had no reason to lie.

“Yeah he’s one crazy fucker”

The other end went quiet. Then… “i’ll see yous in a bit - the doctor wants his phone back”

Cato came back with  a half dressed Hercules. “What happened? Cato said Alex is in hospital?”

“It's Aaron” and from the look of horror that washed over Herc’s face he understood everything. He sometimes forgot Herc use to be best friends with Aaron.

“Laf! We leave now” he yelled as he raced back to the other bedroom. Slipping on whatever he could grab he saw Cato had left to grab clothes from his own room.

Laf appeared in the kitchen with Herc. “Everyone ready? Good. Lets go.”

And double checking everyone had their phone, Laf started hit the gas and they were off.

They arrived at the hospital in record (maybe law) breaking time.

Herc was on his phone calling Sally and Cato… he placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him to a stop. “I’ll be here for you John, but i won’t be used. I am not Alexander and i will not put myself in a position where i will be used for sex by someone who is in love with someone else. I will be your friend John Laurens, but until you are over Alexander i will not sleep with you again.”

He walked after Laf and Herc leaving john by himself, leaving him to his thoughts.

And 30 seconds later he was in the bathroom emptying his stomach after realising what he had done. After realising that Cato knew everything about Burr and Alex’s relationship from Herc.

After realising that he used Cato the same way Burr was using Alex.

Only Alex was too in love with Burr to see it.

 

****************************************************************************************************

 

Sitting by the bed Alex had dozed off to the repetitiveness of the beeping of the heart monitor.

He woke to the sound of raised voices.

“Laurens if you wake him - i’ll kill you”

“You can’t even kill your-”

“JOHN!”

“Sorry Laf”

“Non”

A groan. “Sorry Burr”

A hand tightened around his. He lifted his head, blinking sleep from his eyes. “Aaron?” He saw him give him a small smile.

“Hey baby”

Alex burst into tears. “I am so fucking annoyed with you - you wouldn’t believe it but i'm too happy your still alive to give it to you now”

He looked around to see some familiar faces smiling at him. “John!” he grinned at his best friend. “Sorry - i must have passed out on you guys. I call yous and i'm out cold when you arrive.”

“Better than calling you only to be-”

“John, stop.”

Cato had his hand on John’s arm. “Sorry”

Alex forced a smile onto his face, using his free hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. “What did i tell you Cato - as straight as a slinky.”

Cato shot him a grin and stuck out his tounge. John made a sound somewhere between a groan and a plea for mercy. And Alex felt himself thinking of what other noises he could make john make.

Aaron squeezed his hand and said something. Alex missed what he said.

"What?" he asked dragging his gaze back to his boyfriend.Aaron had a smile on his face and crooked a finger. He bent down closer to Aaron only to find a pair of lips against his. He felt him smile against him and couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped his lips. His eyes closed as he fell into the kiss. He didn’t hear the door open or close.

When he resurfaced, Aaron had moved over, making room for Alex on the bed. “Sleep Alex”

And too tired from the stress of the morning he put his head against Aarons chest and fell asleep to him talking quietly to Herc and Laf.

His last thoughts before falling back to sleep was that Cato and John must have had some connection to have to sneak out of the room to get a quickie in.

 

***********************************************************************************************

 

Cato stood outside a bathroom stall as he listened to John cry.

“I swear Cato i’m not imaging it - he winked at me I swear…”

“John slow down - i don’t get what your saying”

The sound of John blowing his nose filled the bathroom. The toilet flushed.

The door opened and John stared at Cato through red rimmed eyes. “Burr” he snapped. “The little fucker winked at me as soon as Alex closed his eyes”

John took a deep breath. "I'm sure he kissed him to prove a point, not to Alex or to himself, but to ME. And... and i don't know what that means for their relationship - what that means for Alex... because he is so in love with that Asshole and i can't compete and-"

John is cut off by Cato dragging him in for a hug. "We'll figure this John okay? But you have to remember no matter how blind Alex is to the fact Aaron is using him as some sort of replacement, they still have that connection - they have been living together for nearly a year and above all else - Alex loves him. so don't do anything rash - please john"

John looked up at Cato, tears forming in his eyes. "But thats the problem here Cato - i love HIM"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew Jackson was the 7th president of the United states and was a member of the (southern mother fucking) democratic republicans  
> The "sally" mentioned is based off of Sarah "Sally" Burr Reeve --> Aaron Burr's sister #MoreHistoricPeeps


	12. Take a break.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex heads back to mount Vernon for Christmas.  
> We meet one of his younger (foster) brothers.  
> Aaron has secrets

The days passed. Then the weeks and suddenly it was Christmas break.

“A month” Eliza cheered “nearly a full month of freedom.” she flopped onto the ground under the shade of the oak tree.

Maria laughed down at her fiancée from the branch she was sitting on. “You’re crazy Lizzy - you know that right?”

Eliza grinned up at her. “That’s why you love me right?”

“Absolutely- wouldn’t have you any other way”

Eliza’s eyes lit up.“How about naked on my -”

“Eliza Schuyler - you shut your mouth right now” Angelica called from the branch above Maria.

“You really need to fall in love Angie - or at least get laid”

Angelica dropped her book from the branch. It just missed Eliza’s head.

“Jeeeze chill woman we’re leaving” Eliza got up and opened her arms, catching Maria as she swung down from the branch

Angelica knew she was being petty. But…. she sometimes fell into a daydream where things were different. Where she had (wo)maned up and told Theo how she felt. How their relationship might have blossomed as Eliza and Maria’s had. How Theo would still be alive…

And then she remembered how she was going to. How she had been so close to telling her when Theo had started talking about this boy she had bumped into at the coffee shop. How he was so adorable and how he blushed and stammered out an apology for spilling her drink before requesting her phone number so he could buy her a coffee at another time to make up for the one he had spilt.

 _Aaron Burr_ she had said. And she had smiled. Oh she had smiled so wide, already falling for the charm of Aaron Burr. And so Angelica had stood back. She had stepped down and admitted defeat.

But what if she hadn’t? If on that single day - if she had admitted her feelings would Theo still be alive? There were so many things she had done around their relationship that she now so often second guessed. Often wondered if any of them would have made a difference.

She had felt bad after she had realised he was in hospital again. It was his third time trying to kill himself. He was being carefully watched by Alexander. Cato and John had temporarily moved in with them to help. That in of itself was a powder keg about  to explode.

He was being labeled as a high risk case and they had all been told if he tries again, they will have to consider therapy or rehab.

Depression they called it. Angelica preferred the term guilt.

‘Winter break’ she mused. Maybe she should take a break. She had been keeping tabs on Aaron (not stalking - just... noticing… and if she happened to see him, who did it hurt for her to check what he was up to?) for a while now and he hadn’t hurt Alex as far as she could see- apart from the emotional distress of having your boyfriend try to kill himself.

Again.

And she was helping. Alex was like a little brother to her. He forgets to eat and sleep on a daily basis so someone else keeping an eye on Burr while John forced him to sleep was needed anyway.

At least that’s what she told them. And she’d keep to it. As long as Burr kept his nose clean there’d be nothing to worry about.

***************************************************************************************************

Alex was trying not to listen. It was Christmas break and he was waiting for his dad to pick him up. Yet all he could think about how he would much rather have been curled up on the couch with Aaron in their apartment.

All he could think of was Aaron - Aaron who would be without him for the first time in over a month. And how the last time it had happened they’d ended up in the hospital.

He felt so guilty leaving like this. Aaron had said he’d be fine but Alex had still been running around trying to make sure everything was close and that he’d be comfortable. Aaron had finally pushed him out the door with a kiss that had quickly deepened as John and Cato had arrived to keep him company.

Alex, now waiting in the entrance hall , trying to keep as warm as possible was ignoring the whispers that had started spreading around campus, when word got around about Aaron. He had no idea who started them but he had promised Aaron he wouldn’t stop until he had hunted down the assholes who had seen fit to spread them. “There's nothing we can do Alex - everyone knows now, and it's not like they are lies, you left for a few days, i had breakdown and decided to slit my wrists-”

“AARON!”

“It's true though Alex - anyway you can’t fight everyone”

“Watch me”

Now here he was listening to the whispers that surrounded his boyfriend, unable to stop them. Because he knew as soon as he swung something would happen that made it look like it was his fault.

He glanced at his phone, simultaneously increasing the volume of his music. TWO NEW MESSAGES flashed before him.

**From: Burrfriend**

Saturday 11:30: Have fun babe xx

**From: heresJOHNny**

Saturday 11:25: Say high to Pip and The Washingtons' from me!

Saturday 11:28: when you come back bring some of Martha's Pies!! I'm giving you an early warning :P

 

He smiled. Honestly John’s obsession with his adopted mother’s pies was hilarious. He had returned to college after Christmas of his first year with a hamper of goodies - enough to keep him fed for at least a week - that ultimately hadn’t survived the night once word got round the group chat that Alex had home baked goodies with him. 

The apartment had been ambushed after Alex’s “i’ll be late - just have to get the food mom gave me stored” text. Herc, Laff and John had raced back from the bar and and the Schuyler sisters and Maria had arrived not to long after. Aaron had shown up at one point, pressed a kiss to his head, sent him a wink and picked up a slice before retreating to Alex’s bedroom.

Needless to say by the time they had re-emerged the food had been devoured and the 7 of them were on the couch drinking and laughing. Aaron had left, pressing one last kiss to his mouth.

He flopped down on the couch to see angelica exchanging heated glances with Herc and Laff.

“What is it Angie?” she glanced it him and and then back to Herc who shook his head.

“How much do you know about-”

“Angelica that is none of your business - if your going to keep this up leave” Alex had never heard Hercules voice so sharp. “He was my best friend before all that-”

“All that?” She hissed “She was my best friend and i lost her”

“We all did Angelica” Laff snapped. “Now we will not be continuing this conversation around people who don’t know all the information - sorry Alex”

“But he should know - he has a right to know if -” Angelica was half out of her seat now.

“And that’s my cue. Younger sister to the rescue of Drunk older sibling - catch y’all later” Peggy interrupted.she grabbed Angelica's arm and literally dragged her from the room.

Alex still remembered the confusion he had felt. He knew he was missing something and was about to question it further when a moan escaped Johns mouth. Everyone turned to look at him as he blushed.

“I am so sorry but this is the best fucking pie i have ever eaten” Alex walked over to see John was halfway through a full pie he had hidden under his blanket. Alex laughed grabbed a can from the table and flopped back beside John. “so what are we all watching now that you guys have devoured my food?”

Alex was shaken from his thoughts as a pair of arms were wrapped around his neck and a head of curly hair to rival Johns was crushed against his chest.

“Hey Pip, how have you been?” he looked down at his foster brother who was still tightly wrapped around him.

“I missed you so much Alex - why can’t you stay at home? I  miss you!”

Alex grinned and swung his 7 year old brother up so he was sitting around his shoulders. “Come on Pip we have this conversation every single time you see me - Easter, Christmas, Summer,..”

“I know i know… i just really miss not seeing you.”

He grinned, smug in the fact he was still the favorite of Pips. “How about the others? Holly? William? John?”

As Alex dragged his case over to where he could see George and Martha waiting Philip started off on a spiel about how they were all so _annoying_ about how john broke his toy car and about how William always ate the end of the ice-cream. And then he ranted about how Holly tried to put makeup on him while he was asleep; “Mascara Alex! - she nearly blinded me!”

Alex managed to get a quick hug from his dad, when Philip got back into the car. “How’s the final year of college treating you son?”

Alex forced a smile and pushed Aaron to the back of his mind. “It's great - the course is so interesting and we had this guest speaker in the other day…” He trailed off when he saw Martha giving George a knowing smile. “What?”

She laughed. “We were just wondering the other day where Philip got to speaking so fast for so long - George nearly didn’t believe me when i said you rubbed off on him” Alex blushed - “I love the kid - he brushes off on me too”

“We know darling. Now come on - Pip has so much to tell you - you have an hour to catch up before we get to the airport - no doubt he’ll try to squeeze in the last 3 months! He was very annoyed you didn’t come back for thanksgiving”

Alex cringed thinking about how he had spent thanksgiving thankful for the fact that his boyfriend was still alive.

“AlexANDER!!” Philip yelled from the car. “Whoops duty is calling” Alex gave his parents another hug and hopped in the car as they finished putting the bags in the boot of the car.

By the time they were on the plane Alex was looking forward to a 3 hour nap when his dad sat beside him. “Dad? I was going to grab a nap…”

“I’d say you need one after looking after Aaron”

Alex dropped his phone. “How do you know what happened to Aaron?”

“I got a call last week to inform me that you had been missing lectures - Alex if this boy is encouraging you to miss classes - to start half-assing -”

“George!” Martha’s warning tone came from the seat behind Alex. Great. It was an intervention.

“What i mean, is that you shouldn’t prioritize him over yourself. The doctors cleared him. The stitches healed - you need to calm down Alex - deep breaths now”

Alex hadn’t realized his breaths had quickened, hadn’t realized how close he was to having a panic attack.

When he had calmed down, George put his hand on his shoulder. “You’re staying at home for the first three weeks.”

“What? No! I promised Aaron i’d be back as soon as the new year started.!”

“Listen to yourself Alexander! We miss you! Your siblings miss you! Look at Pip! He idolizes you- can you honestly tell me you don’t miss them half as much as they miss you?” Alex  looked down to where Pip was fast asleep, both arms wrapped around one of Alex’s. He pressed a kiss to the top of Philips head.

“Of course i miss them. But Aaron needs-”

“Aaron has other friends does he not?”

Alex frowned. “Yeah but it's my job to look after-”

“No Alex,” Martha interrupted softly, “it's your job to love him. It's not your job to look after him 24/7.”

Alex took another look at Philip, who was frowning in his sleep, and felt his grip tighten on his arm, and made up his mind. “I’ll stay. I’ll text Aaron and tell him later”

Still looking at Philip, he missed the worried looks George and Martha exchanged.

*********************************************************************************************************

Aaron was sitting in his room staring at the tv. He could hear John and Casper or whatever his name was whispering in the kitchenette. He didn’t need them here but the stupid fuckers wouldn’t leave.

Even John, no matter how much it hurt him to stay here wouldn’t leave because of _Alex_. The promise he made to Alex.

Or rather the love he had for Alex.

Aaron snickered to himself. How desperate could you get?

He pulled out his phone to see a text from George.

**From G30rg3**

**Saturday 22:37:** Aaron do you still have that book you borrowed from me last month?

 

A perfectly innocent text, Aaron presumed for those who didn’t know the story behind it.  


**To G30rg3**

**Saturday 22:40:** yeah, i’ll have one of my babysitter's drop it around

 

He fished it out from under his bed. ‘Anatomy & Physiology of the Blood Vessels by Natalia Foley’

“YO Laurens!” He yelled.

He could hear the audible groan - and the faint whisper from Casper? About how his legs worked fine. But he knew john would come. Because Alex had asked him to look after him.

“Yeah Burr?”

“I just got a message from George King. he want this book back”

John looked at the cover and frowned. “Human Anatomy? Why the hell do you have this? You don’t study biology.”

He laughed. “I’m well aware Laurens. It was some…. Light reading….. About a month or so ago. I just forgot to give it back to him”

 

**From G30rg3**

**Saturday 23:17:** I’m in the Rec Hall.

 **Saturday 23:18:** Don’t say anything stupid - i’m not getting messed up in your crazy plans again. 

 

He glanced up in time to see Laurens looking away. Was he reading his messages over his shoulders? Did he… 

He read over the visible messages. No they were vague as hell - he couldn’t have gotten anything from them.

“He’s in the Rec Hall. Bring your boy toy with you”

“Actually” a voice came from the door - “i think i’ll stay here a bit.”

“Oh fuck off Casper! I don’t know you nor do i want to!”

“It's Cato you asshole” John yelled from the kitchen.

“Funny thing then, because I’ve been meaning to get to talk to you Aaron” Cato grinned, Feral, without a shred of kindness, and closed the bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo..... has anyone connected the dots yet? leave a comment :)
> 
> ***edit****  
> I'm looking back over my notes and i've realised there are a few continuity errors so bere with me - im fixing the earlier chapters.  
> also the chapter names for 1-7 will be changed  
> also extra details are being added  
> New sub-plot for lee starting chapter 5 is the only major one


	13. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the rest of the siblings minus 1   
> And GWash and Martha bond  
> Alex threatens someone

The house was chaos. Looking around Alex was glad he was home. He had missed the chaotic-neutrality that was Mount Vernon. 

 

Carrying Philip into the sitting room, he placed the sleeping boy on the couch and covered him with a blanket. But when he entered the den, he couldn’t help himself - he burst into laughter. After 6 hours of travel he was home and the first thing he sees…

 

“Loving the new look there Will.” The teenager that had been lounging across the couch jumped in surprise and stared at Alex in surprise.

 

“Alex!” he was off the couch and running towards his older brother.”Holy sh-  hell man I missed you so much - it was an absolute night-”

 

“William, darling how was the little one?” Martha called from 

 

“Absolute angle mom, you know what John is like, sweet little-” he caught a gimps of his face in the mirror. “YOU LITTLE SHIT I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU”

 

He ducked past George who tried to grab him but William was already halfway up the stairs. 

 

“Oh no, I thought Patsy was coming over, she’s normally able to keep them calm…”

 

“Oh no mom, i’m here” Alex jumped as Martha’s daughter materialized in the doorway to the kitchen. “Alex! It's so good to see you, how’s college treating you?” 

 

Alex ran over and engulfed himself in his older sister’s arms. “I love it but I missed you all so much. Is Jacky here as well?”

 

“Not yet, he’s still down in Albemarle County. I think he has a new apprentice that he’s showing the ropes to, but anyway, you know what he’s like once he gets into the middle of a project. He said he’ll be up by Christmas eve at the latest though.”

 

“He better be. That boy is impossible to keep track of” Martha complained.

 

Alex went to follow her into the kitchen only to be pulled back by a small tug. “Will you come upstairs with me Alex? I don’t want to get caught up with William and John’s argument, and Holly missed you like crazy, I doubt she even knows your back.” Philip had the biggest grin on his face, so full of hope and intellect. 

 

“I’m coming now, i just have to pass on a message to mum from my friend John.”

 

Philip grinned. “Is he your boyfriend? When can we meet him? What is he like”

 

“Pip!” Alex chastised, trying to hide his blush. “No - he’s my best-friend. Aaron is my boyfriend - you met him last Christmas remember?”

 

“Too many names Alex, come on pass on the message and lets gooo!”

 

Leaning down Alex gave his brother a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be there in a second”

 

“Hey mom!” Alex greeted as he made his way into the kitchen. He spotted a plate of freshly baked cookies courtesy of Patsy and snuck one off the plate.

 

Not even looking up from where she was - chopping vegetables - she replied with “put the cookie down until we’ve had dinner Alex.” Then lifting her head,”now what’s so important that you have to tell me?” 

 

Alex grinned returning the cookie to the plate. “Nothing serious - just passing on a message from John ‘make sure to ask your mom to bake some pies for me’ was the gist of it.”

 

Martha laughed. “That boy - I swear he’s worse than Jacky and Philip combined” 

 

“ALEX” Pip was impatient.

 

“Go Alex” Martha grins “before Philip loses the last of his patience”

 

Alex smiles and is halfway out the door before realizing he never got an answer. “So what do I tell John?” 

 

“Tell him, i’ll have a hamper done just for him. Or you could invite him down for new years - George is throwing a party for some of his work friends, you should bring a few of your own down, not too many - we don't have the space but four or five should be grand.”

 

Alex’s eyes light up and he rushes to give her a hug. “Thanks mom” “No problem de-”

 

“ALLLEEEEX”

 

“And that's my cue. See you at dinner mom”

 

**********************************************************************************************

 

Martha watches her son leave the room with a small smile. Then she turns and walks out to the garden where her husband is sitting reading the newspaper.

 

“So George, I’ve been thinking….”

 

“Uh oh that's never a good sign” George laughs as he puts the paper down. 

 

Martha playfully hits him on the back of head before sitting down on the  [ swing  ](https://www.pinterest.ie/pin/109916047139035092/) next to him. She curls up beside him and places her head on his shoulder. 

 

“I told Alex you were hosting a new years party and-”

 

“Martha!” George groans. “I specifically said I didn’t want to hold a party this year-”

 

“Listen to me George Washington!” she sits up and grabs onto his hands. “I told him to invite John and a few friends down as well - there’s a good chance, a very good chance in fact - that, that boy he’s dating Aaron will show up as well. I want to see what he’s like, see if he’s treating our boy right, because some of the stories i hear from Alex seem to contradict each other… and it doesn’t seem like he even realizes it! I’m worried about him George, I am so so wor-”

 

He cuts her off with a kiss. “My darling, I understand. I will send out the invitations tonight. I’ve also been worried about him. He seems a little more… i don’t know… tense, since the end of summer.” 

 

There’s a crash from inside the house and Martha just rests her head back on her husbands chest. She closes her eyes as the sun shines on them and feels herself relaxing as George runs his fingers along her neck. 

 

“My dear, do you want me to investigate the source of that?.” She shakes her head. “Patsy is still here, she’ll investigate. It was probably one of the younger ones with Alex.”

 

George laughs. “Yes. either that or Will has tracked down whoever saw fit to draw on his face with permanent marker” 

Martha groans. “I have to make sure they don’t kill each other.” she forces herself up. “I’ll finish the dinner” George tells her and giving him one last kiss she turns and runs into the house. George smiles to himself. A new years party, he presumed, was the perfect time to get to know what type of person this Aaron Burr was. And he could always question the rest of those boys as well.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

Alex isn’t sure what he expected when he saw Holly for the first time in three months but the first thing he saw was not it. 

 

He had knocked on her bedroom door, and getting what he thought was a response he opened the door. What he saw instead was his little sister (who okay may have been 17 but was still younger than him so therefore little) was on her bed with her a was a kid he had never seen before. They were kissing. On her bed. Alex’s instincts as older brother took over. 

 

He dragged the kid off  her by the scruff of his neck.

 

“What the- Who the fuck are you?” The kid asks and he can see Holly drop her blushing face into her pillow and she lets out a muffled scream.

 

“I’m the guy who just came back from college after a 5 hour trip to see his little sister kissing a complete stranger.” The guys face fell and he guessed he had heard stories of him from his siblings - he can only guess what he’d from Pip alone. “I’m also the guy who wants to know why said little sister was up here kissing said unknown when her little siblings were downstairs terrorizing Will”

 

“Alexander will you please calm down?” he can hear the embarrassment in his sisters voice. “This is why I didn’t tell you about Syd. I am not a child, brother dearest. Just because you are older does NOT give the right right to-” “Holly babe -” “Shut up Syd i’m trying to talk some sense into my brother. It doesn’t give you the right to dictate who, or when I can date. It doesn’t mean you can harass us or-”

 

Alex pulled his sister into a hug. “I missed you Holly” She sniffed and Alex realized she had been holding back tears. “I missed you too. So much Alex. I wanted to tell you in person about Syd… obviously didn’t want you to meet like this…” 

 

He looked over to Syd who was awkwardly standing against the wall. Alex could see the way he looked at Holly, the small smile that played on his lips and the light that shone in his eyes and knew he would never intentionally hurt her. But still…..

 

“It is still my duty as Holly’s older brother to interrogate you Syd.” Syd’s eyes flicked to Alex and he audibly gulped. Alex felt his sister pinch him. “Be nice” she hissed in his ear.

 

“ALLLEEEX WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!.” Philip.

 

He sent a grin a Syd and ruffled his sisters hair. “Duty calls - you’re safe for now Syd.”

 

Holly gave him another pinch and then went over to her boyfriend and whispered something in his ear. He smiled and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. He pressed a small kiss to her forehead. 

 

Alex, wearing a small smile decided to see open his mouth again. “Now that your in a relationship Holly, I feel that it’s my duty as your older brother to - “

 

“Oh for fuck sake Alex! You're not giving me the safe sex talk! Holly snapped, while trying (and failing) to hide her own smile. He stuck out his tongue at her and waved goodbye to Syd whose face was as bright as a tomato”

 

Still smiling he turned, left the room and closed the door behind him.

 

Only to be jumped by John and Pip. Simultaneously. He fell to the floor with a crash and the two laughing kids jumped on him. “Alex!! I missed you so much! I have so much to tell you. You’ll never guess what I did...” 

 

Alex was laughing through the pain as John prattled on. Will was creeping up behind the two boys, both oblivious. Pip he knew was safe from his brother’s wrath, but John… John had drawn all over Will’s face and from the marker Will was holding in his hand, Alex Knew Will’s revenge was well thought out. He was tempted to tell John who was approaching but that would put Alex under Will’s radar next. 

 

And he wasn’t in the mood to explain the various finger shaped bruising around his wrists or the bruise on his back (which he was pretty sure now had a twin) where he had accidentally spooked Aaron one night, only to end up on the floor.

 

Beside… knowing John he probably more than deserved what was coming his way.It was Pip who followed Alex’s line of sight and let out a squeak. Will put a finger to his lips, reached out… and suddenly there was one less weight on Alex and one more screaming voice ringing in his ears.

 

But god was he happy to be home. Because no matter how loud and noisy and annoying they were, they were his family. He sat up and pulled Philip in for a hug. Then He was climbing over his shoulders and - “onward to the game room Alex - you have 3 months of Mario kart to make up for”

 

None of them saw Martha on the staircase, smiling softly as she watched the usual chaos unfold with her children.

 

****************************************************************************************

 

John was sick and tired of Aaron’s bullshit. ‘Do this’. ‘Fetch that’. It was non-stop. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was doing this as a favour to Alex… or was he? Maybe he was still holding out hope that the Aaron he’d grown up with was still inside somewhere. Trying to believe that he hadn’t festered and died years ago… 

 

Cato hadn’t told him what he’d said to Aaron but whatever it was hadn’t changed anything. Except the fact the oddest look sometimes came over Aaron's face  when Cato entered a room. Cato wasn’t secretive about his dislike for Aaron - if he went out for Coffee he only brought back two, if he made dinner Aaron would receive the grisly parts of the meat or the parts that were the most burnt. 

 

John liked him. 

 

Then the text from Alex came. In a new group chat. He checked the members before reading the message.

 

**A.FightMe**

**TurtleBoi**

**LaGayette**

**Aaron**

**HurcAhPlease**

**CatGotYourTongue**

  
  


What the hell was Alex thinking? This chat was going to be a bloodbath. He rolled his eyes. He read the message.

 

Then he read it again.

 

If the chat was going to be a bloodbath he decided, then Alex’s plan was going to be an all out war zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holly is actually Eliza Hamilton-Holly - Alex's Second daughter - i chose to call her Holly cos i'll confuse myself with two eliza's.  
> Her boyfriend Syd Howard is Sidney Holly who she married  
> i'm thinking of doing a one-shot at another point on them <3
> 
> oh and the swing the Washintons' sit on is so 'them'  
> \--> https://www.pinterest.ie/pin/109916047139035092/


	14. (history) has its eyes on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umm.... plot twists? like both are kinda major? i'm sorry? 
> 
> \- chatroom where it happens :)  
> \- laf freaking out  
> \- Cato reavulating life choices  
> \- Aaron being depressed

This had to be a joke. Right? John stared at screen rereading the messages again wondering how the he managed to end up in this position. Because this position included him about to get on a plane with the guy who was dating the man _he_ was in love with, a newly engaged couple unable to keep their hands off each other for longer than a minute at a time and a guy he had used for sex but now considered a close friend.

He dropped his head into his hands. When did life become so complicated?

***********************************************************************************

 **A.FightMe** renamed the group chat as **The chat room where it happens**

 **A.Fightme:** Guys I have Bad news and Great news. Bad news is i have to stay here for at least ¾ of the break. Great news - my dad is throwing this massive New years party and as Mount Vernon is quite large and we have a lot of spare rooms, Mom said i could invite a few people down?

 **A.FightMe** : So are you guys down?

 **Aaron:** But you promised you’d be heading back here after the 26th :(

 **LaGayette:** I FOR ONE am delighted with the invite you can pass it on to Martha that i’ll be arriving bright and early New Years Eve

 **HurcAhPlease:** I too shall be there Alex

 **HurcAhPlease:** Also who the fuck changed my handle?

 **LaGayette:** Oh but mon cher, it suits you much better - non?

 **HurcAhPlease:** the things i do for love

 **TurtleBoi:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **A.FightMe:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **TurtleBoi** : I’ll be there Alex :)

 **A.FightMe:** Mom told me she’ll have a hamper of food for you after New Years.

 **TurtleBoi:** I LOVE YOUR MOM - TELL HER I SAID I LOVE HER AND THANK YOU

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Thanks for the invite Alex - i’ll have to get back to you - New Years can be a big deal in Ireland; orleast with my family - think all aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins in the same house for like 12 hours straight. Plus booze.

 **HurcAhPlease:** omg memories.  Miss those Parties. Not the hangovers though - I still feel pain when i think of New Years 2014

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Do NOT speak of that cursed day - you will make me cry

A.FightMe: Am i the only one who really wants this story right now?

 **TurtleBoi:** Haha Nope.

 **LaGayette:** Non, mon petite Lion, you are not.

Aaron: I don’t know if i can make it either…

 **A.FightMe:** :( i really want you to meet my parents and the rest of my siblings - you met Pip last year remember?

 **TurtleBoi:** GIVE THAT CHILD A HUG FOR ME #PreciousChild

 **A.FightMe:** there’s a reason he’s my favourite

 **A.FightMe** : Shit don’t tell any of the others that - i’m not supposed to have a favourite. #BigBrotherDuties

 **Aaron:** Just got off the phone with my Uncle - he wants me and Sally back for Christmas but he said he doesn’t care about New Years.

 **A.FightMe:** that settles it - your coming.

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Turns out Amelia can’t make it this year so I’m able to give it a miss.

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Also they are hosting the party at Johnny’s on 5th

HurcAhPlease: isn’t that where…..

 **CatGotYourTongue:** yup

 **HurcAhPlease:** with…

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Yes

 **HurcAhPlease:** oh shit :’) no wonder they are letting you mitch this year

 **LaGayette:** #Confused

 **A.FightMe:** same Laf

 **TurtleBoi:** me too

 **HurcAhPlease:** it's a long story

 **CatGotYourTongue:** no it’s not - we got banned for life from there.

HurcAhPlease: I MEANT THE FULL STORY NOT THE PUNCHLINE

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Thats not long either - we got in a fight with some asshole who kept hitting on my Brother.

 **HurcAhPlease:** *sigh* We were also very drunk - so was he if we are being honest and your brother had been flirting with him before that.

 **CatGotYourTongue:** He still hasn’t forgiven me - said we overreacted and ruined what could have been one of the best nights of his life. Fucking Americans flirting with my siblings.

 **TurtleBoi:** I? TAKE? OFFENCE?

 **Aaron:** never thought i’d agree with laurens but… same?

 **A.FightMe:** i’m from the caribbean

 **LaGayette:** French :)))

 **HercAhPlease:** you are hopeless.

 **LaGayette:** But you love me.

 **HercAhPlease** : Aye. I do.

 **TurtleBoi:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **A.FightMe:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **Aaron:** Can’t wait to see you Babe xx I’m already missing you- the apartment is much quieter without you xx even with the two Lapdogs you left me with :P

 **TurtleBoi:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **A.FightMe:** I miss you too Love xx counting down the days <3

 **TurtleBoi:** DO NOT TURN THIS CHAT IN TO A FLIRTFEST

 **TurtleBoi:** AND I AM NOT A LAPDOG THANK YOU VERY MUCH

 **CatGotYourTongue:** Neither am i thank you very much >:(

 **LaGayette:** of course - Aaron, how could Cato be a lapdog if his name literally has the word CAT in it - honestly mon ami…

 **Aaron:** …..

 **Aaron:** I have to go

 

***************************************************************************************

Lafayette was exhausted. He had spent the last 24 hours packing and unpacking and repacking his bags trying to make sure he had everything. And then there was the other fact.

His cousin lived near Mount Vernon.

Well more third cousin (or was it fourth?) four times removed (or was it three..?)

They had grown up as close as brothers, and even though it had been over a decade since they had see each other Lafayette made sure he had enough hair dye and even added a pair of glasses to his bag. One could never be too careful.

Especially since it now appeared even _she_ was against his happiness. Willing to aid the DGSE… for what? What could they possible offer her that was worth betraying your best friend?

One could never be too careful, especially with the DGSE now in New York. He dropped his head onto Herc shoulder. He still had to finish telling them. He had gotten caught up in the engagement then there was John and Cato and then Aaron tried to kill himself… everything had added up and there wasn’t time.

All he wanted was time. And he could feel it slipping away quicker and quicker,moment by moment. He knew there would be an explosion when it finally did. It wasn’t a matter of ‘If’ anymore, more a matter of ‘when’ and then there would be the question of who? Who would stand by him? Who would betray him?

He paused. Had he already been betrayed? Was that how they had found him? But who… if he had been,  nobody except the Schuylers knew -he was sure of it. And they were his family, in everyway that mattered they were his family and he knew with 100% certainty they would never betray him.

And so he was left contemplating that question. If he had been betrayed… who was it by… and why?

*********************************************************************************

Aaron was bored. He absentmindedly scratched at the scars on his wrist. They were itchy as hell. He hadn’t meant for it to go so bad. He cringed remembering the look on Alex’s face when he had found him.

It wasn’t fair to Alex to be stuck with someone as messed up as him. He deserved John. It was so freakin obvious to everyone they belonged together. But Alex was _his._ He needed someone and at the time Alex had just been there.

That overly chatty guy who was just as drunk and broken as him. They both needed someone and they had both found it. They exchanged numbers the next morning.

Alex hadn’t made their relationship weird. The casual hookups were just that. Casual. But then he and Alex got closer and their friendship blossomed. He knew the others didn’t trust him. He didn’t blame him. He had put them all through some shit. Said things he hadn’t meant in moments of anger. He had driven everyone away. He was surprised they had stuck around as long as they had.

He was surprised Alex was still there.

He was an abusive asshole. He hurt Alex repeatedly. He would hear Alex cry himself to sleep some nights.

And worse he would forget he wasn’t her. Theo. He slipped up sometimes. He always knew when he would because Alex would tense up and this look of hopelessness would cross his face.

He hadn’t been drunk enough to forget the conversation between Lee and Alex. The heartbreak in his voice as he realised he had lied and then what he said… everything built and everything went to shit.

Alex deserved so much better than him. John would be there to pick the pieces. But he had chickened out last minute. Using the knowledge he had from King’s book he cut along a way he knew wouldn’t kill him. It would hurt, but he deserved it. It was his fault. Everything that went wrong was his fault. It always came back to him.

King’s book had saved his life though. The only reason he even had that was Sally was a child prodigy. He had to self teach himself in order to  keep up with her half the time. Biology was her passion and her dream was to become one of the world famous surgeons everyone knew the name of. And she would. Aaron knew it.

That didn’t mean anything though. He knew in the depths of whatever was left of his heart he didn’t love Alex. He loved the idea of having someone. Someone to distract him from the memory of his Theodosias’. His girls. His family.

*********************************************************************************

Cato was enjoying this way too much. He had his earphones in, no music playing though, he had his eyes closed and with his evened out breathing anyone would think he was asleep. He would make a great spy Herc use to joke. He smirked slightly - now that was ironic.

He had good reasoning he told himself. Why would he be faking sleeping, trying not to gag as he heard herc and Laf whisper to each other. Whoever thought they whispered ‘sweet nothings’ needed a swift kick up the arse. Laf had some mouth on him - surprising considering who he was… the last remaining Marquis de Lafayette.

Gilbert. The first he had heard about him was how he was presumed dead - or worse - after his grandmother and their entire encourage were found slaughtered. But somehow that quick witted kid had managed to stay alive.

He’d been an active kid. Military seemed the obvious choice. He had excelled and his rank had increased. Private. Corporal. Sargent. Lieutenant. Captain. Then he’d been contacted by _Them._ he thought it was a joke at first. Him? Why they want him?  Apparently his name had gotten around.Youngest lieutenant in the last decade and still climbing. An interesting skill set he’d been told.  Then they’d offered him a job. Training. And the pay….. More than five times the amount a day then what he’d been earning in the army weekly. It was too good an opportunity to pass up. Anyway he had a family to think about, a pregnant girlfriend.

Obviously that wasn’t the case anymore.

He was questioning himself now. Of course he was. When he had heard from Herc about Laf Cato had been ecstatic - his best friend was in love. It was only when Herc had shown up in Ireland and Cato had talked to him did everything suddenly become clear. Because of course the one person who made his best friend happy would be the guy Cato had been searching world-wide for.

He didn’t want to kill Laf. He didn’t want to kill anyone. He was a good guy.

But he knew if he didn’t… if Laf returned to France to claim the mantle that was his by birthright - chaos would descend. The people who currently held the power and didn’t want to let go. And when they had heard the whisper passed through a chain that the Marquis de Lafayette was alive, in New York City… people had been sent off. He had been so thankful he hadn't been one. But then Herc had shown up in Ireland. And as he had told his story Cato’s heart had sank. Was the universe really this cruel? Then the text came.

“Convince him to return. Accompany him. Kill the Marquis. You know what is at stake.”

And he did. He couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. His parents were on the line. His siblings. His whole family that would be gathering in less than 2 months for the new years celebration.

And now Herc as well.

If he had to choose between his best friend and a stranger he knew he would choose.

But now? It was obvious Laf had no interest in returning to France. Cato knew who it was that had sent him into the spiral that day and it was kind of funny how he had totally misinterpreted the situation. The DGSE had heard the rumors as well. And had sent the best to protect him. Including the one person they thought he would trust on sight.

They were in New York to protect Laf from him. And now they were leaving the city. He could only hope the DGSE picked up on the clues he had left and would stop him.

Stop him before he assassinated Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :) hope you all aren't too pissed about the false trail i laid
> 
> Also comments give me motivation to write  
> And they make me happy :)


	15. A dream is a wish your heart makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas - gifts are exchanged and Alex comes to a realization.
> 
> AKA: proof i can write fluff

Alex stood in the kitchen with Pip baking cookies on Boxing day morning. Pip, who had refused to leave Alex’s side ever since the revelations of yesterday was chatting away about his excitement for the upcoming party, shooting the odd glance at his mug. He ended up reassuring him it was only the end of his hot chocolate. But damn if he didn’t miss his coffee. If he was being honest he was a little worried about Pip. 

Holly had come to him at the start of the break to tell him about Pip’s nightmares. 

“They just started up recently. He won’t tell us what they are about. But every so often he wakes up and climbs into bed beside one of us. Just a warning” Holly told him. 

So when Alex woke up on christmas morning he hadn’t been too surprised to see Pip there, curled up against him fast asleep. Alex glanced at the clock and raised an eyebrow. 8am?

Normally Pip would have them all up at 6 - at the latest. He leaned over to wake his little brother. “Pip? It’s Christmas. Why are you still asleep?”

“Huh?“ the confused groan that escaped Pip was adorable. He scooped the seven year old into his arms. 

“Pip! It's Christmas morning Santa’s been and gone. Do you not want to see what he got you?”

“Santa?” Philips eyes flickered open. Then his eyes landed on the clock. “OH MY GOD IT'S CHRISTMAS.” He jumped up and ran down the hallway banging on the doors. “GET UP! GET UP! IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

Alex laughed as he heard the string of curses that emerged from the various rooms. William especially looked like he hadn’t slept a wink and was towering over Philip hissing at him when Alex decided to step in.

“Yo Will! Leave the kid be - he’s excited - you were just as bad as him when you were his age.” Will stuck his tongue out at Alex before ruffling Pip’s hair and returning to his bedroom.

Then Jacky was there. “Where IS my favourite sibling?” Patsy appeared behind him holding a mug of coffee. “I hope brother dearest you mean me in that statement - seeing as i and i alone have known you their entire lives and therefore each of your dark secrets” 

Jack spun round. “Patty-cake! I missed you. How has my favourite sister been?”

Holly emerging from the bathroom sent Alex a wink and then walked up behind Jack and tapped him on the shoulder. “I’ve been great thanks Jack - because you were talking to me right?” Alex couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face as he watched Jack begin to crumble under both their stares. Holly broke her stare as Jack opened his arms and she just jumped straight into them.

“I love you too Holly” Jack laughed. “But now i have to find my favourite sibling - see you guys downstairs.” Alex was halfway out of his room by the time Jack  turned around. 

“Hey Jacky.” 

“Favourite sibling!!! I missed you! How’s college? Kicking your ass yet?”

“Only everyday Jacky, only every day.” he embraced him in a death grip like hug. 

“You know Alex, i’ve been thinking… if the whole law thing doesn’t work out you should follow me down to -”

“Again Jacky? I’m not really that interested in Architecture… “

“But you have such an eye for it! You really saved my ass last year on that project I was doing. Like my new apprentice - you’d love him - he was des-”

“Then your sorted Jack” Alex laughed. “Sounds like this guy knows what he’s doing. Anyway why wouldn’t law work out? I'm a natural according  to John’s sister - remember that? I’m still reaping the benefits. Free coffee and discounts on the good stuff... It's my sleep deprived state heaven.” 

“Your not back on-” Alex shot him a grin. “ALEX! I thought we agreed - no more DW!” he massaged his temples. “Just promise me your staying safe yeah? Eating sleeping and all that? Either way it doesn’t matter - mom is going to kill you when -” “IF”  Alex corrected. Jack rolled his eyes. “IF she finds out”

“If who finds out what?” Alex froze. “Nothing Mom” he spun around and enveloped her in a hug,  kissed her cheek and strolled towards the kitchen, only stopping to give Jack a warning glare over his shoulder.

He could still hear Pip and John jumping on a bed trying to wake someone - George probably. He was just finishing his slice of toast when Pip raced into the kitchen. “Den. Now. Everyone. Waiting. Presents. Now.”

Smiling Alex let his brother grasp his hand and drag him through the hallways.  As he had said the rest of the family were waiting. A fire was burning and the smell of hot chocolate was in the air. 

And Pip was yelling. “ME FIRST! I’M THE YOUNGEST” Holly laughed and tossed him a badly wrapped gift. Her lack of talent to do with anything remotely artistic was evident. The family watch as Philip lets out a whoop at the sight of the car set. “Neat Holly - it's like you knew John was going to break one of my others”

The family began to swap gifts among each other. Paints, books, clothes, toys were exchanged. Then it was Alex’s turn to give his present to Pip. He smiled softly as his brother opened the box. “It looks like you Alex - that is so cool! He picked it up and gave it a squeeze.  _ “I love you Pip” _

Philip looked at the bear awestruck. Alex sat beside him and the family gave them a moment of privacy - continuing to share gifts. “I know you miss when i’m away at school. Holly and Patsy told me about your nightmares. So this bear is to remind you that even if you can’t see me i’m thinking of you. And that i love you so much.” Philip had tears in his eyes. “I love you too Alex. Your my real family.  I never want to leave here. Because you’re my Family” Alex felt the tears in his own eyes and pulled Philip in for a hug. He kissed the top of his head then sent him off to open the rest of his presents. Alex came to a realisation in that moment, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what Pip’s nightmares were about. And then he made up his mind as to what he wanted to give Pip, maybe not next year, but as soon as he was able… 

He is knocked back to reality when Jack throws a box at him, and it hits him on the side of the head. He opens the wrapping when faint smell of coffee hits his nostrils. He freezes glances at Jack who sends him a wicked grin. “About enough to last you a month” He loved his brother so fucking much. 

He discreetly tries to put it beside him but the action doesn’t go unnoticed by Martha. “Oh Alex dear, what did Jacky get you?” “oh… umm you know... “ the smell of coffee must have hit her then because she spins and glares at Jack. “Jack Curtis Washington- did you buy Alex that of which we shall not mention?” Jack in the processes of freaking out forgets to put his filter to use.

“How would i know if we don’t mention it?” the room falls silent and Alex flinches at his brothers stupidity. “Oh, Shit I didn’t mean…” 

“He nearly died Jack how could you be so careless? Do you really not think these things through?” Jack looks like he’s going to burst into tears and Alex can’t stand it.

“Mom..” Alex interrupts. “It’s okay. I know my limits now, I learned it the hard way but it’s okay.”

“What does she mean you nearly died?” he looks across the room to see Pip standing at the door. 

“Pip..”

“NO ALEX” he yelled. “What did she mean?” 

“I’ll tell him, the rest of you stay here and I don’t want you bringing it up again. Ever.” He looks over to Martha who looks horrified with herself. She knows about Pip’s nightmares and still started this infront of him. (Even though deep down Alex knows she completely forgot about Pip in that moment, the old fear and anger had sprung up and Alex realised that she hadn’t forgiven either of them. No matter what she said)

Alex left the den and walked to his room, Pip following behind him, clutching the build-a-bear that would let out the odd  _ “I love you Pip” _

He sat on his bed and patted the mattress beside him. “Come here Pip” He lingered by the door and hesitantly stepped into the room.

“It was back when I started college, a few months before you arrived here. I was stressed and I was having a hard time settling down. It was before i moved in with Laf, Herc and John. I had a room-mate of my own but we didn’t get on at all. I ended up rooming with Jacky for a while. It was his last year and he had managed to snag a private room.” (which Alex found out was more to the fact that nobody wanted to room with an over-caffeinated 22 year-old architect student, who kept his papers everywhere.)

“He use to buy all these different assortment of coffees. There were always three or four different bags lying around the kitchen. One morning there was obviously a bad batch given to us. It was one of our favourites - ‘Death Wish’ - kinda ironic now looking back on it.” Alex choked back a sob. “Anyway Jacky ended up burning his hand on his mug and dropped it. But we laughed and i drained my mug. We never found out what was wrong with the batch, Jacky had freaked and watered it down the drain. But the next thing i really remember is waking up in the hospital. I had slipped into a coma.” Philip let out a sob and jumped on Alex burying his head into his shoulder. 

“Anyway, it was only a short one, i woke up after two or three days. Mom and Dad were understandably pissed. The doctors had mentioned along with whatever had happened to the coffee i was nearly malnourished. I hadn’t been eating or sleeping right and had been living off Coffee for nearly four days. Poor Jack got hell from Mom and Dad about letting it get that far. It wasn’t his fault though. He had been busy with his final year coursework. I had just been stressed and slightly homesick and my mind had been going a million times faster then what i process.”

“B- but you’re okay now?” Philip sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

Alex smiles. “Yes Pip. i’m fine now”

“Then why did mom get angry? Why would she bring it up - it was…”he trailed of. “It was four years ago why did she bring it up?”

“Because Jacky got me some for Christmas. I don’t think she’s forgiven either of us for it”

“Of course she hasn’t” Alex looked up to see his older brother leaning against the door frame. He sighed and walked into the room, sitting down beside Alex, Pip in the middle. Alex absentmindedly continued to stroke Pip's hair. The kid was asleep now. Exhausted from the emotions he's gone through in such a short space of time.

“Jack I don’t want you to get into trouble over this-”

“Too late there Lexi.” he laughed. “Dad’s calming her down now. He’s always been more level headed than-”

“Your so lucky i came up to check on you three and not your mother.” Jacks head shot up and Alex didn’t bother to even lift his head. He was looking at Pip. 

Pip who had never had a real family until the Washingtons offered to start fostering him. Pip who had attached himself to Alex as a toddler and hadn’t let go since.

“Dad?” Alex interrupted the conversation between his dad and his brother. 

“Yes son?”

“I want- i need -” he glanced at Jack apologetically who just gave him a half smile and a hug before leaving the room. He turned back to his dad “Can I talk to you in your office?”

***************************************************************************************

George Washington wouldn’t say he was an easy man surprise, but he considered himself perceptive enough. But at that moment, staring at his adopted son he was completely thrown. 

He supposed he should have seen this coming… but than again… He couldn’t help but feel his heart break for him though, knowing the answer he received would not be the one he wanted.

“I don’t think you understand what you’re asking for Alex. Have you even-”

“I want to do it dad - I lo-”

“ALEXANDER!” George lost his patience. Dam this kid would be the death of him. “Listen to me son. I don’t think you’ve even investigated this properly-”

“I was planning…” Alex trailed off seeing the look George was giving him. Oops. 

“First of all, and most basic Alex, you are too young. You are 21 years old, 22 by the time you graduate. Do you know the minimum age requirement in this county? It’s 25.” His heart broke watching as Alex’s face crumbled. 

He continued on. “Even if the age wasn’t an issue, i thought you wanted to become a lawyer? Would you be willing to give up on your dream? And if you were - where would you live? How would you support yourselves? And what about if -”

“Fine!” Alex snapped. “I get it. It was a stupid idea, i wasn’t thinking…” he stood up and nearly ran to the door of the office? How could he have so nieve? 

“Actually there’s one more, very good reason you wouldn’t be able to.” Alex froze. And turned to look at his dad as he pulled a leaflet of pages out of his desk drawer. He beckoned him over with a small smile.

Confused Alex walked around the desk until he read the letters on the top of the page. He grabbed it and scanned the document hardly believing it.

“We got them back on last week. I had wanted to talk to you before telling him”

Alex just let out a happy sob and flung himself on his dad.  “Thank you for doing this for him.” George smiled and wiping away a stray tear than had rolled down Alex cheek, pulled his son in for a hug.

Alex looked at the pages again. He was so happy, that even if he couldn’t that the washings would. That they had. 

 

ADOPTION OF: PHILIP HAYZE-WASHINGTON

 

***********************************************************************************************

Now baking the cookies with Pip he saw their parents come in behind them. Pip was still babbling away, how Georges in his class spoke French so now he wanted Alex to teach him some Spanish, because then the two friends would be unstoppable…

“Philip?” The child must have jumped a foot in the air. Alex could stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. Pip was just the definition of adorable.

“Y-Yes mom?” 

Martha glanced at her husband who nodded at her. “We have something to tell you sweetie-”

Tears pooled in Pip’s eyes. “You’re sending me back aren’t you? I knew this was going to happen! But I won’t go! I don’t wan’t want to leave-”

“Pip - calm down” Alex was in front of him. “Take deep breaths Pip, deep breaths now. He glared at his parents “ready to try and say it in a way where you don’t give him anxiety?”

“What your mom was trying to say was in fact the opposite.” George bend down in front of Pip and he pulled out the Adoption certificate and handed it to Pip. 

The rest of Alex’s sibling had gathered in the doorway and were smiling. They had all been told over the last 24 hours and had been gathered by Pip’s yelling.

Philip stared at the piece of paper in front of him for a long minute before looking up to see his whole family smiling back at him. 

And promptly burst into tears, against George, who barely caught him with a small smile on his face and tears pooling in his eyes. 

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? I was feeling in a festive mood today because I survived my first semester of college, and semester 2 doesn't start till FEBRUARY 4th !!!!!!!  
> but like 3 exams in Jan but **ignoring them** professionally 
> 
> OKAY: IRL Jacky and Patsy's surnames is 'Custis' from Martha's first husband so i threw Curtis in as his middle as a cameo of sorts (patsy and Jack are George and Martha's biological children - the rest were fostered and eventually adopted, except Alex who they adopted immediately)


	16. Nigra Aqua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys are on the way to Mount Vernon. Alex is tired. Aaron is tired. John is annoyed, Cato is conflicted. Laf and Herc are in love (and worried)
> 
> and there's an assassination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY COMPLETED THIS CHAPTER
> 
> I procrastinated so hard i started 2 more multi chapter fics and wrote two one-shots/shorts
> 
> The chapter title is "Black Water" in latin.

Alex honestly couldn’t remember why he had thought this was a good idea.

He was sitting in the back of his van, his head resting on Aaron’s shoulder. Hercules was driving and Laf had snagged shotgun. That wouldn’t have been too bad if Laf hadn’t insisted on playing his music obnoxiously loud. John sat beside him and Cato was stretched out opposite them. 

_ The tension is the car was as thick as fog. It was wrapping around his windpipe and choking him… _

It  was loud. Between the music and John’s non- stop chatter along with Laf and Herc’s suggestive comments that were voiced way to loud all Alex wanted to do at that point was sleep. 

Aaron seemed to notice his discomfort and shifted so Alex could lean against him comfortably if he wanted to nap. His head fit perfectly between the space between Aaron’s head and his shoulder, and along with the feeling of his arm around him, Alex managed a small smile. 

He was exhausted. After Pips adoption there had been no sleep for Alex in the last few days. Pip- running on adrenaline dragged him around all day in the snow and then at night there were the disney marathons. The kid was on a constant sugar high. Alex on the other hand was crashing, but he couldn’t let his little brother down.  

So he slept. 

And while he slept the conversations died off awkwardly. Laf and Herc glanced at eachother out of the corner of their eyes and Herc placed his spare hand on top of Laf’s, gently lifted his hand and kissed the ring sitting on his finger. 

John plugged in his earphones pointedly ignoring Aaron and Cato just gazed out of the window. 

He really wasn’t in the mood to be threatened again by someone who didn’t even know him so he just laid his head atop of Alex’s and closed his eyes. 

He could feel the the weighted stares of his…  ‘friends’ that were on him, he was sick of the judgments that they held. He wasn’t ready to talk to them about anything. They knew what had happened and had seen him at his weakest. They had always been there for each other and then… they had abandoned him. A few calls here and there to see how he was doing. An invite to a night out. A text. 

But they had ultimately left him drowning. When he declined there was radio silence. They might have thought they were giving him space, but during that time all he had wanted was his best friends. His  brothers. 

He knew he was to blame for their drifting apart. He had started ignoring their messages. He had started snapping at them when the pain was too much for him. He had lashed out. He had picked fights he knew he would ultimately lose. Angelica had been an easy target.

Angelica had hated him long before the wedding. It didn’t take a genius to find out why. After the funeral she had flipped on him. “This your fault you stupid bastard. She loved you and you killed her. She dead because of you” 

And she was right. That’s what had hurt the most. Even as much as his friends had stood by him and given out to Angelica for saying it, he knew she was right. His family was dead. And it was his fault. She had only been saying what they had all been thinking. What they all had known.

It was easy to use it as an excuse to isolate himself. 

But when he emerged from his mourning he had found no-one waiting. They had all moved on with their lives. And he…

He had been replaced. 

He hadn’t known at first, that the boy that had bumped into him in the middle of the path would turn out to be his replacement. That the boy who had slipped on the icy ground and grabbed onto the closest thing he could find, that ended up being Aaron’s scarf would be the boy that changed everything. 

The only thing he thought, as they had both lain on the ground laughing, was that maybe - just maybe-  this could be a second chance.

Alex had smiled, apologised and invited him out on the spot. “I’m meeting up with a group of friends, I’m sure you’ll get on spectacularly well.” 

They had laughed and talked all the way to ‘The Revolution’ and when Alex had opened the door grinning and had bounded across the room and jumped on John’s back Aaron’s smile had started to fade.

“Guys - I picked up a stray” Alex had laughed before heading off to buy a round. “Play nice”

Laf had turned spotted Aaron and his eyes had widened in shock.  “Mon dieu!” He leaned across to nudge Hercules who promptly spilt his drink. John turned, raised an eyebrow and Aaron just smiled awkwardly at the group.

“Well well well… if it ain’t Aaron Burr!” John chuckled. “Finally ready to rejoin society?” Laf kicked John under the table and he saw John wince.

“Hello Jonathan.”

“Not my name” 

“Hey Laf… Herc…  Long time no see….”

Alex then decided to rejoin.  “So… you guys get acquainted?”

Aaron thought rejoining the group of friends would be easy. He was wrong. He now felt like a fifth wheel. The conversation was strained and Aaron honestly would have preferred to be anywhere else.

He learned Alex had taken his old room at the flat the four of them had shared. 

He noticed how Alex had learned to act as a buffer between Laf and Herc’s flirting. 

He saw how perfectly Alex completed the group. 

He had done more than fill the gap Aaron had left behind.

He also saw how John looked at Alex. 

But he also noticed how Alex’s eyes kept flicking to  _ him _ . How Alex went out of his way to include Aaron. To explain the stories behind certain references. And the smiles he kept sending his way. 

Was it a second chance? Maybe. But did he want it? Or more importantly - did he deserve it? 

He left while Alex was in the bathroom. “Tell him something came up” 

He didn’t miss the disappointed looks that crossed his friends’ faces. He left without taking Alex’s number.

It was a fortnight later, after successfully avoiding the caribbean immigrant for two weeks that a party thrown by the Schuylers that Aaron decided it was a good idea to go. To avoid the pain for one night. To drink and be happy and- 

The immigrant winked at him from across the room. And Aaron decided to fuck it all to hell.

******************************************************************************

He didn’t regret that night, he thought looking down at their joined hands as Alex slept. Definitely not. But… he often wondered why he had jumped into this head on. 

Was it the need to prove that he was ok? Maybe. 

Did he want to forget? No. Definitely not.

Maybe it was a way to numb the pain. Alex was sweet and funny… and he sometimes couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had never met Theodosia. 

She would still be alive for one. 

But did he regret it? Bumping into her, spilling her coffee? The nights spent laughing and cuddling? The nights wrapped up in eachother? 

Never. 

The memories kept him grounded. Reminded him why he needed Alex. 

Because he would fall apart if he was alone. 

He cuddled in closer to Alex and drifted off into a restless sleep.

**********************************************************************************************

John watched them from he sits with a numb feeling in his chest. He was jealous. He knew he was jealous. 

But he was also tired. Tired of the game of cat and mouse he felt he was trapped in. there would sometimes seem like there was hope for him and Alex but then…

Moments like this. Where Alex would curl up beside Aaron. He looked so peaceful and happy, John can’t imagine why he would give that up. 

Because ultimately that’s what he wanted most.

For Alex to be happy. (With  _ him _ preferably but still….) 

He closed his eyes and tried to let go. Let go of his feelings, let go of the pain, let of the  _ hurt  _ and _ pain _ that filled his heart every time he saw them together.

But it was useless.

He was without a doubt 100% irrevocably in love with Alexander Hamilton.

He was fucked.

*************************************************************************************

Cato stared out the window and prayed to a god he barely believed in.

He hopes the  DGSE are competent enough to stop this madness. 

He is a killer. He is a spy. He has betrayed his best friend. He plans to assassinate the heir to a fortune. 

He doesn’t want to die. But if push comes to shove (which it ultimately will)  he wishes he knew which side he’d be standing on. 

His family? 

But Herc was his family as well…. And by extension the Marquis also fell under that umbrella.

He doesn’t want to die. But if it comes down to protecting himself or protecting Herc… protecting his friends… 

But his family… his parents, his siblings, his grandparents and his cousins... 

He closes his eyes.

He wishes he could be certain in what he would chose.  

He wishes he could be certain that his death could save them all.

Or at least most…

******************************************************************************

Looking at the tracking device they had planted on the target it appeared they were heading towards the restaurant. Peaking around the corner of the chimney they see a car pull up at the front. Doubling checking the GPS they know the target is in the car. 

_ “Alpha, check one check two?” _

_ “Alpha check two, what is it?” _

_ “The eagle has pull up front” _

_ “Alone?” _

Using the binoculars they double check what they are seeing.

_ “Negative. Female. Blond hair. Tall. Roughly 20 years old.” _

_ “No clue. I’ll forward the description back to base” _

_ “Will this affect my mission Sir?” _

_ “Negative. Proceed with Caution though. It could be  _ **_them_ ** _.” _

_ “Copy that Sir”   _

_ “Good luck solider” _

_ “Over Sir” _

_ “Over and out” _

Dropping the old school walkie talkie back into their bag they take another look over the corner of the roof.

They set up their [ M4 ](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.surplusstore.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F8e94b9347e01b77eb5544a09ce3e947a%2Fi%2Fc%2Fics-45-c15-_m4-silencer-1.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.surplusstore.co.uk%2Fics-45-c15-m4-silencer.html&docid=Ugz7YFDw7DcUqM&tbnid=27epL3UROHA--M%3A&vet=1&w=3427&h=979&bih=569&biw=1242&ved=0ahUKEwjnwZeOoP3fAhURsXEKHSwfAcQQMwhbKAEwAQ&iact=c&ictx=1) , connected the silencer and lined up their shot. 

The president of the DGSE was dead before she hit the ground. 

They pull out their phone and shoot off a quick text.

_ Mission accomplished.  _

Twenty minutes later they receive a photo. With a simple question. 

_ This the girl? _

They study the photo. Young. Blond hair. Light brown eyes. Looks tough as nails. 

_ Yes - who is she? _

_ No clue - the only hint we could find is her codename: Black Water _

Interesting. 

Their phone beeped again.

_ Do not engage with her - that's an order from command. _

Their eyebrows lifted. Command?  Who was this girl?

_Affirmative_ _._

And the assassin retreated back into the shadows of the rooftops as if they’d never been there at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooohh so who is the mysterious blond hair/brown eyed "Black Water"


End file.
